Mom's 60th Anniversary

Mom,

I can't imagine what emotions you live with on the 24th, as you remember so many of life's joys w/ Dad over the decades. I hope that w/ whatever hurt or loss that comes with knowing that Dad is not here with us anymore that the celebration of your life together predominates in your heart.

As you know, you and Dad showed all of us, your children, a good and stable way in the world. I think you can see that lesson learned (with some bumps along the way...) in all four of our lives, marriages and assorted collection of ten grandchildren. There is so much to be joyful and proud of on this annual celebration of the bounty of your wedding and marriage.

We are definitely thankful, as you and Dad offered us the world, life, a stable home, ambition and curiosity. Not a bad card in the hand, I'd say. That mixture of modern American w/ ancient Jewish life. The secular and sacred. Eyes on the world around us and a remembrance of the heavens above. We are a healthy mixture of both... thanks to you and Dad.

I'll call tonight as we've had limited electricity these days, then out for Shakun's b-day, Josh's joyful return and friends' Xmas celebrations.

Waiting to hear your voice soon, too!

lots of love, Keith, Shakun, Josh, Ezi and Leah

Ez: Term Over!

Well, term is over...

Which means ample time to write lengthy emails and otherwise enjoy recreational activities, such as: sleep, sit down meals, reflection, etc...

I'm not going to get in to the details of the past couple of weeks, but since Thanksgiving it's been one really long sprint. The last week+ before the end of the term I didn't even sleep in my room. I was camped out in the main building taking 10 minute to 2 hour naps (averaging probably 4 hours of sleep per 24 hours). It was pretty rough -- but I got through it.

Now its break and life is good. I'm pretty happy and its not so cold. I'm just looking forward to things calming down and getting a bit of a nice holiday routine in.

The thing with working every waking hour is that there is very little that I've been up to... since my daily allotted time for reflection was also taken up by work, I've been in a little vortex for the past couple of weeks and probably couldn't even tell you what I'd been up to.

AND, furthermore, because of life sans reflection, I haven't had any particularly noteworthy musings or trains of thought that I can share. So I apologize for not being able to be exciting and tell you how wonderfully life changing the past couple of weeks have been...

But, seriously, I'm happy to have had break arrive without being elated. I used to feel wonderful after each term ended -- but in the past year and half it's lost its novelty. Its not that it doesn't mean anything, but work aside, there isn't a significant difference between the two. Granted, work is a relatively large factor and I'm happy not to be racing towards deadlines, but at the same time racing towards deadlines isn't so bad and either way you've got a day to fill.

So, it feels nice.

I have no major plans for the next couple of weeks. There are four of us who will be here the whole break (maybe five), and then some others will be dropping in and out. At this point, there are still a couple of guys who haven't headed home, so we've just been enjoying ourselves.

Dan Fahey, my Congo teacher and our visiting prof, is heading back to the Congo -- he has work with a group called the Eastern Congo Initiative (sponsored by none other than Monsieur Ben Affleck) -- so we went to Boonies last night (the bar/restaurant in the next valley over). It was nice to get out of the valley. We actually lifted the D&A policy for break so we can drink in the dorm after 8pm, but its all been pretty casual.

The other day Cyril (a good friend from Minnesota), Ben (the guy who was in the Marines for a five years) and I went with the Mitchells to cut down some Christmas trees. The Mitchells are the family who have been here for 12 years. Ken, the father, is the ranch manager and his wife, Karen, runs the garden. They have three girls, one of whom married a Deep Springer who takes care of the farm. They are lovely family (Ken is a little more the 'calloused rancher' type, but still a good guy, whereas Karen is the nourishing, caring, homemaker type).

Karen, the girls, and Mark (that former DSer who married their daughter) drove us over to the next valley where we spent an hour looking for christmas trees in a little evergreen forest. There was snow on the ground so that meant snow ball fights. Then we finally found a nice looking tree (and when I say 'we' I mean 'I' ;-)...), cut it down, and headed back to the car. I was supposed to be in charge of SnackCom (snack committee), but had slept through the allotted time to arrange for snacks. Fortunately, Karen had whipped up a great little tailgate picnic. There were shrimp, cocktail sauce, tortilla chips, salsa in cream cheese, water, apple juice, caramel popcorn, and cookies -- essentially great snackums.

Then we headed back to campus with the tree.

The tree is now in the dorm and it sounds like we'll probably do a little Christmas thing in the dorm amongst the guys. The Mitchells also have the guys who are on campus over for a Christmas eve dinner, which is supposed to be lovely.

As you know, Dad, it was wickedly cold when you were here (or it was getting wickedly cold) and it got really cold, but now it isn't so bad. I've grabbed a old, blue down vest from the bone pile (a wardrobe of clothes left and donated by old students) and I wear that practically all the time, but I don't really need much more than that for the time being. I'll usually wear a jacket underneath or one of the long sleeved flannel shirts that I picked up from the bonepile, as well. Actually, now the winter weather really is quite nice.

I'll probably take you up on your offer of some warm clothes. I'll take a look on-line to see what I need. The moccasins would be wonderful, but I'm just worried that I would just ruin a good pair here. Things here get battered pretty quickly and I don't know if its worth it.

I know you guys have sent me a bunch of small emails asking me of this or that, and I've tried to stay on top of the necessities and I'm sorry I couldn't do any more than that, but it really has been an insane period of work.

As for Taylor Swift, she really is quite lovely isn't she? Her sincerity and innocence drip through her lyrics and her voice, its kind of hard not to enjoy. Although, let it be known that she does have a darker side that comes out in a couple of verses that you kind of let float by because of her aforementioned 'sincerity and innocence'. Then you realize what she's saying and you see that she is, after all, a woman.

Leah's bill of rights is both adorable and inspiring, I hope it works out as well in Practice as it does in Theory.

Anyway, let me know how things are going on yourrrr side. Or rather let me know when you guys can call, and we can talk.

Lots of love, Ez

Reflections on Deep Springs: Ezra

It has been a wonderful and challenging couple of months here at Deep Springs College. Indeed, I was thrilled to have gotten in here; really, it was all I could have asked for. Its unbelievable to think that I have been here almost half a year, but I suppose that's how long it has been -- five months now.

These have, without a doubt, been some of the busiest months I have experienced, but I hope (and I feel) that it is pushing me in ways that I would not otherwise have been challenged.

Life here centers around the community, which is both wonderful to have and complex. It is, unlike most large universities, not a community that one can chose to exclude or include themselves from -- it simply is. Therefore, it is an organic community, but as people we tend not to like organic communities. We pick and choose social groups based on similarity of habits, views, hobbies, and lifestyles and although the nature of the college ensures an element of homogeneity, we have quite an interesting mix.

After spending a term under the tutelage of the previous Sr. Dairy boy, I am now Sr. Dairy Boy. I'm here on campus for winter break, which is three weeks long, to take care of our two dairy cows, which is a joy. I don't mean to mystify the relationship between man and animal because ultimately it is one of practicality for both of us (they need to be milked and we need the milk), but there is certainly something to be said about the routine of waking up every morning at 4 am to milk alongside the cows and then again at 4 in the afternoon.

It is a curious thing to be working alongside sentient beings whose thinking is so unlike our own.

As I said though, it is now break so finally, after two weeks of sleeping roughly 4 hours a day and using every other waking hour to do work, I am quite pleased to be able to watch movies, read for pleasure, write emails, and simply spend time on the ranch.

Yesterday, there was a tragic incident that occurred that make one want to both smile and cry.

One of the pigs went into labor around 9 pm, and consequently gave birth to seven little piglets over the next two hours. We got a call at around 11 saying that she had given birth and that if we wanted to we could come and take a look. A friend and I drove over to the other side of the ranch and there they were: six beautiful little piglets. The family who over sees the ranch had built a little hanger with heat lamps for the mama pig to give birth in and so the two daughters of the ranch manager were in the hanger tending to the already suckling pigs. It was really a beautiful sight to see these newborn babies wriggling with life.

Anyway, we left an hour later to go back to the dorm as I had to get up in the morning for dairy. However, at lunch today I just found out that there was a short fuse in the hanger and it caught fire and tragically all the piglets died. The girls (the daughters) were absolutely crushed and I've been shocked as well -- so tragic, to have life taken away so swiftly after it was given, but these are the ways of the world.

It was only later though, that I found out one of the piglets hadn't been born yet and it only came out after the fire. It is a runt, but it is alive and well.

And so life persists against all odds.

Wonderful, yet tragic.

iSwift, 'a little face of heaven'...

joshu and ezi,

just to let you know that 'i can't take my eyes off of you' as leah and i are totally into taylor swift these days. 'superstar', if you get what we mean. it's all 'romeo and juliet' over here on the itunes and on her ipod.

iswift, you could say.

it's not just happening in the dining hall of DSC, but up here on the hillside where 'that beautiful smile' lingers as taylor billows in her ballads and heart strings. could be why ms. leah is so keen to start her guitar lessons again. she's been picking out cords after watching anna have her w/end lessons over in sanepa. i found a tibetan guitar teacher who teaches english at the CCD. he was the tutor to natalie ring for her english, too. he has his own rock band, he says, playing dylan and neil young.

'i need my window open', as she sings, 'b/c she doesn't want to go that far... talk to yourself... talk to the man who put you here...'

hopefully he'll start this w/end, although he has to come all the way from jawalakhel, so he wants a two hour session w/ leah. let's see if she's up for that much guitar on one day. otherwise, i've asked about the b'kantha school, as well.

taylor does those high notes so exquisitely. 'caught up in her... untouchable... in the middle of the night when i'm in this dream...'

'c'mon. c'mon.'

ahh, those plucked guitar notes in the midst of her vocals. how the heart calls out for another soul in such songs. there's a whole lot of vitality and life in her petite figure. the magic of music, as we've always known. whether dylan or van or joni or tupec or death cab for cuties or regina or the script or mozart...

c'mon in the middle of the night... how we long for the beauty and transcendence of music.

i know how much music i listened to during college. late nights with the jefferson airplane, the beatles, the youngbloods, steely dan, more joni, of course. something more than precious, something that touched the soul at a time when the soul seemed so confused and uncertain.

the radiance of a human voice projecting thoughts, images, poetry across the mind. dreams of a better world. dreams of love that protected all. friendship that would never end. roads that stretched across the imagination. escapes from the daily reality of study and papers and classes. the raw twang of a guitar pulling at the tender heart strings inside.

'a million little stars calling out yer name...'

it's always the middle of the night in that dream. even sitting outside on a wintry day. grey clouds pressing down the heavens. there is that dream of a chord, a riff, a strumming along the vibrating strings that carry the soul back to the depths of emotions, joy, pain and tenderness. almost untouchable, except that it feels so true and clear and free.

that middle of the night that comes at any hour, just a 'little face of heaven'...

missing you both, but so happy to know that the music brings us together.

even leah now, too, caught up in the mystery of the sacred music.

'into the mystery', i think van sang... xoxo, dad, mom and leah

Leah's 4th Grade Bill of Rights

Friends, even the 4th Grade at Lincoln School are into writing their own Bill of Rights!

Let’s hope Nepal gets theirs soon, too!

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Our Class Rights

We have the right to be treated fairly and with respect.
We have the right to be comfortable.
We have the right to be given exact steps on how to do things.
We have the right for a two-minute break between subjects.
We have the right to learn science by doing experiments.
We have the right for a special time for class games and activities.
We have the right to learn by moving and acting.
We have a right to read and to check-out classroom books.
We have the right to listen to music between subjects.
We have the right for choice time. For example, academic games and sculpting, etc.

Voices from Below: Constitution Making in Nepal

Nepal is going through one of the most important phases in its history - that of making a new constitution. For many, public consultation and inclusion will be critical factors leading to the ultimate legitimacy of the process and the credibility of the final outcome.

Attached, find a short five minute film on the UNDP civil society outreach of the Support to Participatory Constitution Building in Nepal Project.

Made by the award-winning documentary film director, Tsering Richtar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiQdhKdrGQw

Davis Ravis Tamang and Catherine Lama

I'm trundling away on the key board listening to Roy Harper singing 'I'll See You Again' and before that (about five times...) Ricki Lee Jones' 'Company'.

Beautiful, really beautiful, voices.

Of course, if Ms. Leah Lou was here I'd be fighting her for the key board -- but she's off at her dear Icelandic friend Anna's today across town and, no doubt, happy as a clam. While Shaku is doing her annual pre-Xmas Ganesh's Trunk sale with her Ya-Ya Sisterhood at Chez Caroline. I hope they have a big crowd and that the sales are going well. They all deserve it, these female artists and entrepreneuresses of Kathmandu. We're meeting Utpal and Caroline for dinner there after the sale ends this evening.

Yesterday, Saturday, the annual Pam & Charles Kathmandu Thanksgiving shifted from Bansbari to Bhatbatini. With P&C now living in America, their 24 year old backyard tradition shifted gently to Lucy's front yard. She's taken on the tradition of inviting all the 'too long in exile' Kathmandu crowd over to celebrate the American feast. It's a big pot luck w/ a wondrous meal on the table, sitting in her yard on carpets and pillows.

Shakun and i were there from 3 to 10 pm with about 70 folks, some of whom we see on occasion, many of whom we only see a couple times a year. Of course, I cud have stayed longer, except Shakun was at my elbow saying 'we have a daughter at home!' for about an hour before we actually departed. Of course, the malt wine, the tasty baclava helped extend the evening. Plus, Hugh Fisher, a lovely guitarist from Montreal who played some exquisite Neil Young, Paul Simon and his own songs serenaded the later, darkened hours around the fires in the yard. Quite precious, actually...

We're all thankful for Lucy's generosity, openness and kindness in hosting this self-selected kathmandu 'elite'. Maybe b/c the crowd was slightly less, the garden more enclosed and/or Hugh's exquisite live guitar, the evening was a true and memorable delight. Magical, even, especially to see the tradition transposed to a new location with no less of the spirit and joy enhanced. Lucy has become one of Kathmandu's dear and gracious earth mothers. We are all fortunate to have had her among us for these years and for the years to come.

Just a few minutes ago Gita didi (well, bhaini actually...) brought me lunch upstairs (two sausages, sauteed vegetables and mashed potatos...). Her meals are always cooked in affection and ooze her gentle caring ways. Gita also asked me why we never had the chocolate mousse that she'd made for us the other day, when Davis and Catherine were here. I said that we'd (and Laxmi...) had forgotten, so no one had had any.

Gita laughed, of course, since she always laughs. Then she said how happy she was that our dear Berkeley friends, Davis and Catherine, had come back again to stay w/ us in Kathmandu, after Catherine fell and dislocated her shoulder below the Annapurna. Gita said how much she really likes them. She said Davis and Catherine are both 'sojo', the Nepali expression for someone who is simple and sincere; just like us Tamangs, Gita said.

I think that may have just been the highest form of compliment that a foreigner can get from a Tamang in the local 'bhasa'.

Well-deserved, if I may say so!

himalayan birches from humla

i finally found those beautiful white bark himalayan birches (boj patra) i've been seeking for a few decades in nepal!!

i was in remote simikot, humla (far, far northwestern nepal) for the first time the other day. i'd gone up by charter flight from nepalganj w/ professors khanal and hachhethu, surendra, renu, neha and aruna, for our second to last undp-sponsored 'federalism dialogues' in the proposed jadan province.

of course, since i've been desperately seeking one of those gorgeous birch trees for our yard (botanical garden...), it was on my mind to ask about them when i got there. i'd read that they come from the high 'lekh' of these isolated mountains. i've never actually seen one in kathmandu. although birches are known to grow pretty much everywhere, both in a wide range of climates, as well as all around the world.

so, within a half hour of getting off the plane and strolling up to the lodge, i asked if anyone knew about them up there. neither my friends nor the local community folk seemed to immediately know what i was asking about -- until someone brought a huge pile of white birch bark from their home! i felt like i could have been back in summer camp in the adirondacks, not the high himalaya...

a few days later, a villager did me the kind (justly rewarded) favor of climbing some 3-4 hours up the ridge to bring down a six tender saplings from the distant ridge-top forest. they have a radiant, shimmering copper colored bark at this young age w/ distinctive white spots (mumps??). quite cute, if you ask me...

so, when we were leaving that dirt runway on the ridge-side in simikot, towering snow-capped mountains all around us, my only concern was not letting the airline take that precious muddy bag from me while checking in. white gold, i guess. of course, my 'friends', neha, renu and aruna were laughing at me. neha even teasingly telling me that the airlines wouldn't let such plants on the plane!

ha!

but i still didn't trust anyone that my petite birch saplings wouldn't disappear en route back to k'du. even though everyone else was more concerned about bringing their ruddy, fresh apples back from humla to eat, i could only see the beauty of these long-sought birch tree youngsters and, like ones' own children, felt immensely protective of mine. i wasn't concerned about what i was going to eat when i was back in k'du, but could only imagine the beauty of these petite saplings when they matured in our backyard with the lush shivapuri ridge as a backdrop.

maybe it's true, as they say that 'we are what we eat' -- but for me, i think it's actually more 'i am what i plant'...

although later that evening, on the commercial flight from n'ganj to k'du, after getting through the less than rigorous nepali airport security, the yeti airlines stewardess put her hand up and wouldn't let me carry the dripping wet sack on the plane. i explained, that these were 'mero ek dum maya-lagyko birwa!' -- but the tough-minded, but polite, stewardess forced me to hand them over to the ground crew, promising me, tough and sweetly, that i'd get them back as soon as i got off the yeti plane in kathmandu.

frozen smile...

so, when i finally got out of the plane an hour later, i nearly jumped down the outside stairs in the dark asking where my sack of saplings were. fortunately, they immediately appeared out of the cargo bin and the dirty sack was more than gladly handed back to me. i guess it's true that beauty (or love of nature...) is in the eyes of the beholder...

these little mountain creatures are now safely in bags of homegrown soil in our backyard nursery in budhanilkantha. i watered them down immediately when we got home about 9 pm the other night. then, in the morning, asked tek to put them in soil while i was at work. when i got home i found them resting comfortably out back by our compost, like kids at play, capturing the last rays of the day.

even though they obviously are most at home in those high himalayan altitudes, i hope they thrive out here on the rim of the valley. after all, since most everything else grows in k'du, maybe, these elegant himalayan birches will find this a suitable environment, too...

the way the rest of us of a variety of human species have...

drop by sometime, if you have the time, to meet these youngsters,

if you'd like!

Surprise at Georgetown!

The surprise worked!!

Josh had NO idea that Ez was travelling w/ me to the East Coast. Josh was a bit late meeting at the front gate of Georgetown, while Ez was lingering in the shadows. Then when Josh appeared and he and I hugged, Ez came from behind and tapped Josh on the shoulder. You shud have seen his delight, joy and affection. Josh was totally thrilled and excited.

Coming the week after Sudip came down and Silas surprised him here in DC (commenting that DC appears so much easier to live in than NYC and so much like a European city than an American one...), having Ez come the following week has sent Josh's emotional joy levels to the stratosphere. It was such a joy to see Josh so happy last night. Both of them were entranced to see the other one! Ez has been in hibernation mode and doing it well since July, so being in a city was a bit of a shock for him, as he commented. But then f2f with Josh brought him right back into the family groove and a father cudn't have been happier than I was seeing them together last night. If the purpose of my trip was to reunite my sons again, after their months apart and new life directions, then it was all, all, worth it!!

These, as you know, are the moments we live for...

The three of us took a long stroll around Georgetown before settling in at the Mexican restaurant i'd been to before w/ Josh last year. A full pitcher of margaritas, chips and nachos had us rolling along long before our dinners came later. It was such a pleasure to hear our two young men chatting, discussing, musing on their worlds and the world around us. There was a total delight in sharing each others' company, being together again, and learning what they were studying, who they were hanging with and what they were doing since they were last together in June, a long four months ago.

It makes me want even more to be sure that we are together as a family regularly, even as we live apart. Josh said a few times how much he misses Leah and wants to be back to enjoy part of her childhood. Ez and I had many a conversation about Ms. Leah while we were walking up to Vernal Falls or around Convict Lake in California. Both boys love that sister of theirs, even as we know that they live in different worlds much of the time and that Leah feels that, even when there, they 'don't play with me...'. Still, the bond is powerful, profound and lifelong. What a gift for all of us!

Today, Josh said he'd make us dal bhaat, so I needed to wake Ez up about noon. Of course, he and Josh had a later night together back at Josh's dorm. I was high enough after the margaritas and joy of being together, not to mention the four hours sleep in Reno b/c of the Ezi ID crisis (when we realized he didn't have a picture ID and had to get someone at DSC to scan a copy of his passport to him that night to be able to get through airport security the next morning).

So I walked back to the Holiday Inn on my own. Ez came in sometime in the middle of the night. Plus, he's been working relentlessly at DSC, including 4 am runs to milk the two cows (Ruth and Lilith), so he's exhausted and could use a couple days of 12 hours sleep, methinks. Josh seems more energized, as he's had great visits w/ Silas and Sudip, plus made a commitment to himself to dig in and get good grades here so that he is eligible to go to SOAS in lLndon next year, if that is still what he wants.

Josh also has a bunch of midterm exams next week, as well, so he's working hard to do well on those before, I'm sure, getting ready to relax a bit again. Ez has this week to catch up on his sleep, before returning to more full-time intensity of academic studies, student government and being the 'milk boy' for the next few months (which means daily 4 am strolls in the darkness to milk the cows).

Thursday night, while Josh studied, Ez and I made another visit to the Folger Shakespeare library on Capitol Hill. We saw "Henry the VIIIth", a lesser known Shakespeare play that was first played under a dark cloud, as the cannon that went off during the play burned down the theater. We had no fireworks, but an exquisite play about power. marriage, court intrigue, royal-church relations and the cunning, lustful nature of man. It's such a joy to see real theater!

Then, yesterday, by one of the new bus companies, Megha Bus, I think, where folks of all varieties wait on a green in DC while the buses park disgorge, load and head off back on up the highways. Continuing to enjoy Victor Hugo's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" while enjoying the autumn colors along the crowded highways north.

To Philadelphia, Mom's birthday and Claudia's family with Josh and Ez...

Deep Springs or Bust!

i'm at Deep Springs College, at last!

after nearly a year wondering what this strange new world that ez had uncovered is all about, i arrived here after the himalayan policy research conference in madison on flights to reno via an incredibly (incredibly!!) beautiful drive south along the eastern sierra mountains with poplar groves bursting into gold and the raw ridges dusted with snow stretching toward the great basin of california.

i actually arrived at deep springs that first day about 6 pm, right before dusk. i wanted to get there before the light fizzled and i could see the distant green from miles away as i rose up a narrow wadi from big pine in landscape that wud be fully at home in the judean wilderness or tibetan plateau. at last, a highway sign that said, 'deep springs', to the right as a rough road lead through the alfafa fields to the gateway of one of the most isolated and unique college campuses in the world.

what a joy to get a big hug from ez as he strolled toward me on the open green of the ranch/campus and see him happy as usual here in his brave, isolated new world... a beautiful, intended, intellectual oasis in the desert landscape. a handful of his college friends are here, a couple of other parents, as well, a cat, a dog, two cows... well, you get the picture.

in fact, i got up w/ ez at 4 am (to the alarm clock of a van morrison song in ez' spacious room...) under the stars to go out to milk the two cows (lilith and ruth) and feed their four calfs in the dark. ez is the new cow boy for the winter, so he's learning the tricks of the trade from eamon, a friend from wisconsin. he was already much more practiced than me, as i filled my tin bucket at about half the pace of ez til he finally took over and finished the deed.

in brief, ez seems very comfortable in his skin, as always. he's wickedly busy w/ his academics w/ three courses this term, the required public speaking and composition classes, an optional auto mechanics and his regular jobs.

yet, he seems to swim very easily w/ it all. last night he gave me the synopsis of his course on the history of the Congo which seems to really animate him (Belgan treachery; European colonialism; Congoese corrugption; Mobuto's greed, American hypocrisy and the tragedy for the people). he's equally enthralled w/ Count Tolstoi and War & Peace, plus many of his other writings. intellectually, he seems to bursting out all over! but, he says, as well, that the time required for the academia is more than he wanted, not to mention the infamous SB (student body) which meets every friday for hours and hours and hours in managing their own estate -- as he still came here for some of that thoreau walden isloation and reflection, which he doesn't get enough.

for me, father of the story, it all seems quite good, encouraging and engaging. remarkable, actually. maturing, deeply. unique, absolutely!

ez and i spent our next day taking a four mile walk in bristlecone national forest about 10,000 way up in the white mtns just a few miles north of the deep springs valley. amazing gnarled, ancient trees, the oldest in the world at 5,000 years! great to stroll in that fresh mountain air, with the threat of rain, chatting the whole time while it drizzled a bit and the views down to bishop and the valleys below were amazing! the eastern sierra, so much drier than on the west side facing the ocean. here we're facing nevada and the deserts that stretch out to the rockies. it's a whole different feel of our america, vast, purple mountains majesty as they say, and untamable. beautiful.

then, since time is so tight (and gracious...), we drove to yosemite on monday en route back to reno by tuesday night. the drive along the east side of the sierra was magnificent, both coming and going. so beautiful, open, idyllic, wild and grand. we stopped where my friend, greg in k'du, said there was an exquisite side valley, by convict lake. the seen was so refined and charmed that we walked an hour or two around the lake to the base of the tall mountains, where a bevy of streams came out filling the landscape w/ willows and the clusters of popular trees inflamed w/ golden leaves against the stone mountains as we ambled on the well-made wooden walkway with the fresh, cool waters trundled into the lake.

afterward, we went down to the edge of the vast mono lake with undescribable space, wide open space all around and clouds billowy and white just seemingly sitting in the sky, unmoving and painted there like a raphael landscape...

in the late afternoon the drive through twuolme meadows above the yosemite valley in those fields of granite was another one for the books. i've driven many places in the world, but i will never tire of the approach to yosemite. sans doubt, g-d's gift to the americans and the new world. thank uncle teddy for creating these national parks so that there are not corporate sponsors all over the place. the fact that it only costs $20 still to enter the park is a gift of our federal government and wise, caring souls who appreciate the grandeur of such natural wonders. like a few years ago at crater lake, i'm transformed...

of course, leaving it late, there was no room at the elegant ahwanhee hotel where i wanted to treat ez, so we went to the other end of the spectrum with an unheated tent cabin in curry village. fortunately, we can do either end of the cultural divide and it was fun to be back in one of the most international, cosmpolitian campsites in the world. we sat down for our margaritas and burgers with an english couple, a former policeman who had escorted king birendra when he was on an official visit to england, and two cute, freckled young danish women who were visiting a friend in sf and took a couple days for yosemite while watching another disastrous performance by the yankees in the play-offs.

ironically, earlier we'd been at the same curry campsite and restaurant with the davis clan watching the 1998 world cup, france vs brazil with a racoon in the tree overhead some years before... the circles and cycles of time...

josh still doesn't know ez is coming east, i think. it will be a lovely surprise for him, hopefully! i've tried to keep this one as quiet as possible, b/c josh will be absolutely delighted to see ez in dc. from DSC to DC, as i say. it'll mean a lot, naturally, for ez to make his way all the way east, even or because it's only a few days, josh will appreciate it even more.

there's nothing more important for a parent than to see your children close and caring for each other. these two young men have begun to form lives more and more distinct and separate from each other now that they have both left lincoln, kathmandu, now their good two years at NMH and, at last, in colleges of their own choices. the future is theirs and yet to be written...

but for moi, what a joy! what an opportunity! the beauty of california rediscovered through my son and my sons rediscovered through me...

allah-hum-dillah, as they say!

by the grace of G-d, we are fortunate to be human beings in this risky and incredibly stunning natural world!!

Shana Tova

it's the jewish new year tonight, so when you look up at those distant stars, think how a long time ago, our patriarchal fathers rode by camel across the desert from the euphrates through syria to the promised land where they settled and found both a home and religion under the unity of a single god, whose name we will never know or pronounce.

they understood.

all those nights watching the same stars we see, the utter emptiness, spaciousness and endless beauty of existence.

they knew of kant's moral law, long before that prussian philosopher gave words to it in his high german bhasa. they could feel it beating with their heart in the silence and numina that the desert offered. they didn't need youtube, mtv or itunes (regina specktor singing now...) to remind them of the uniqueness and fragility of their existence.

they knew enough to write their stories to praise their g-d. they knew enough to bow their heads in respect for a world that gave them existence, eyes to see, a heart to feel and a body to touch. simple truths, but profound ones.

ones the pace, problems and superficiality of our modern world can dissemble.

so, for this one day of the year, we, children of that ancient race, ancient creed, ancient religion, look up, once again, at those sparkling stars above, shimmering in a sea of blackness and possibility. we thank this dear, distant, immediate g-d for all that we don't understand and the little we do.

at this moment, when the rains are ebbing, the harvests are collected and we know that the shorter days of winter are ahead, we take a moment and rejoice in the cycle of life. the blessings of parents and, most definitely, children. for some of the most fortunate, grandchildren even.

simple, ancient truths. the turning of the gyre. the thankfulness that we can send our love to each other. bless you, sons. my your days be long and your joys bountiful.

with the love of a parent to a child.

Buddha In Glory

Buddha In Glory

Center of all centers, core of cores,
almond self-enclosed and growing sweet --
all this universe, to the furthest stars
and beyond them, is your flesh, your fruit.

Now you feel how nothing clings to you;
your vast shell reaches into endless space,
and there the rich, thick fluids rise and flow.
Illuminated in your infinite peace,

a billion stars go spinning through the night,
blazing high above your head.
But in you is the presence that
will be, when all the stars are dead.


New Poems
1907/08
Rainer Maria Rilke

alas. along. alone. alove. the...

the land of the valley is being covered and traduced one way or another these days.

there's some excessive, ruinous 'plotting' up here across from where nick and kerry lived, next to karma and pia, and past us on the road to tokha.

fortunately, it's pretty quiet on our immediate periphery.

one bureaucrat built a home in our way back but that's where i planted the 'dhungri' bamboo (nepal's biggest) that christopher and i brought back from charikot my last year at save (four years ago... It's among the fattest/tallest bamboo we have, so his three story home has disappeared behind lush, big bamboo leaves above a rock garden that i've been digging out the past few months on the w/end.

so, all's good with the wide open, forested view of the 8,000' shivapuri ridge line from the backyard.

but, eyes wide open, we all know, it's coming, it's comin' and it ain't stopping...

the ancient, once sacred valley is filling up with habitation and housing well before the proposed, promised federal republic of nepal can spread the wealth and construction out to future provincial capitals around the country.

but it's late, very late for the beauty of this place.

alas. along. alone. alove. the...

as joyce wrote a long time ago about his beloved, bespoiled, emerald land...

The Churning, Whizzing, and Whirrrling of the World around Ezra

Hey Phamily,

Whoosh! Josh is gone, I'm gone, we're all going -- but where to, where to?

In relation to each other, in a spacial context, I suppose we are forever moving apart now, then back together, moving apart now and then back together.

Never at the same distance apart.

However, through the lens which we see the world (our own lens) it seems less so that we are moving and more so that the world is churning, whizzing, and whirrrling.

I have indeed heard of "Looking for Eric", in fact I have watched it! It is a really wonderful little film (funny how we use little describe things we find quaint when really it is only as little or large as any other film). I suppose I also mean little in that it doesn't claim to have the scope or breadth of all the world -- instead it focuses on one man and his pains and struggles to come to terms with the churning, whizzing, and whirrrling of the world around him.

Perhaps I am biased, as a Manchester United fan, but it really was wonderful -- technically, I believe, it is a 'comedy', but it doesn't allow that tag to inhibit it from telling a story. Lovely.

Speaking of lovely films, several weeks back we watched a beautiful film -- we almost saw it in New York once -- it's a Japanese film called 'Departures'. I forget if you guys saw it, but if you haven't, get a hold of it. I really enjoyed it.

You didn't tell me about Patricia and Phillipe -- it's been a while since I've seen either of them -- I'm sorry to hear about their problems. Still, it seems to me that perhaps Patricia's anger is justified and the murky politics of Nepal only continues to get murkier. How the tides turn. It seems that being Tibetan is no longer the 'in' thing it once was -- sad, but true as they search for a home.

As I'm sure you've heard the proposed mosque at ground zero has raised similar passions here in Amrika -- there seem to be so many truths and pains and justice-deserved that there is no right or wrong. A web of wrong-doings that only creates more anger. Makes you want to reject the 'real' world, as Arendt would say, and simply collapse into your 'own' world.

I don't know what my plans for October break are (I don't really have the need to plan that far ahead, I don't even know when my October break is), but I'd be happy to do a trip on the road with you. Just give me specific dates, and I'll tell you what I think. We can figure it out.

Other than that, we made a scarecrow out on the main lawn today after dinner of dolmades, foccacia, hibiscus tea, and cookies.

There is also a fair in Bishop coming up so Karen (the Mitchells are the resident Christian family who have been here for 12+ years; her husband, Ken, is the ranch manager and they live here with their three daughters) is taking a bunch of stuff and has arranged for students to bring the scarecrow, some beef jerky, baked goods, and other stuff from the garden.

As for classes, the next two weeks are sort of trial periods -- right now I'm deciding between Tolstoy & Kafka (thats almost definite), 'Freedom and the State' (that is also pretty certain), and then I have to decide between a Congo/African-colonial-history-type-thing class, 'People & Plants', 'Ethics', or 'Tragedy & Politics'. I'm not entirely sure what all of them are about, but I'll let you know when I find out.

Tomorrow I'll head to 'Freedom and the State' for which we read a Kant essay on 'Enlightenment.' The teachers I've met seem great though, so I'm excited.

Peace frogs. Ezi

A Federal Nepal: the Citizens Must Speak

A Federal Nepal: the Citizens Must Speak

Joshua S. Leslie
August 28, 2010

At a dinner the other day, I was talking to a friend who lives in Switzerland. We were talking about the Swiss federal system when he asked me, “Who is the Prime Minister of Switzerland?” I was bemused as I attempted to recall if I had ever heard the name of the Swiss Prime Ministers, in any context.

Yet, my Swiss friend quickly allayed my fear that I was poorly informed when he explained that hardly anyone outside Switzerland ever truly knows the name of the Swiss prime minister because the actual state power is within each individual citizen. The Swiss federal system is premised on a system of referendums where the laws passed by the cantonal (state) legislatures are submitted to the people for authorization.

How I wish the citizens of Nepal had such influence. Instead, we know the name of the current Prime Minister, as well as usually three ‘potential’ Prime Minister candidates. As we’ve seen over the past few months, the current prime ministerial merry-go round occurs because of the inability of the parliament to develop a consensus on whom to elect. This farce has convinced political observers and policy-makers that Nepal’s national political system to come to a grinding halt.

However, is this stalemate truly because of an inability to select a Prime Minister or because the major parties refuse to seriously begin the process of restructuring a historically unequal, centralized, and suppressive state?

Nepal became officially a federal, democratic state through the Interim Constitution on May 28th, 2008 -- but the federal demarcation of Nepal has still not been approved by the Constituent Assembly, which is the only legitimate body that can make constitutional decisions. The Committee on State Restructuring and Sharing of State Powers released its recommendation for fourteen states on January 20th, 2010. However, even now, the full CA Assembly still has not yet voted on the future federal Nepali state.

Instead, the three major parties have again delayed the constitutional process by belatedly proposing to establish a State Restructuring Commission that will require more months to review and redefine the boundaries of each Nepali state. This further raises the question of whether the new constitution will actually be completed by May 2011 as the identity and viability of each state cannot be discussed within the CA until a version of the state restructuring is accepted.

This problem was clearly visible during my visit to a UNDP/SCPBN Federalism Dialogue in Hetauda concerning the future Tamsaling Province. The three day Dialogue was led by respected Tribhuvan University Professors Krishna Hachhethu and Krishna Khanal and included over sixty civil rights activists, local politicians and ethnic leaders. However, the major issues raised by these leaders were not about the critically important government responsibility of the future Tamsaling State to its people -- but rather the fact that Newa and Sherpa received numerous Tamang majority VDCs. Yet the future Tamsaling State is not responsible to its ethnicity only, but rather all peoples within the State.

Yet, can we blame these individuals, donor agencies or the professors for this critical federalism discussion leading to various ethnicities attempting to include their whole population into their proposed state after years of social oppression and political neglect by the central government and the general practice of a unitary government that promoted one religion, one caste, one language.

Furthermore, the Constituent Assembly continues to give these national ethnicities faint hope because the three major parties may change or remove these proposed boundaries through their continual delays in the constitutional process of defining each state. This further hinders and obstructs the constitution building process because the each new state/province must be determined and approved by the CA before they can approve and disseminate the constitutional authorities for the central, state and local governments.

However, instead of finalizing the draft constitution, we find ourselves two months later after five rounds of self-damaging and detrimental politics. The major parties that promised to bring us a ‘New’ Nepal have instead dragged us into a repetitive political abyss from which it becomes increasingly difficult to climb out.

Rather, to begin our ascent, we must each think like a citizen of Switzerland. We must realize that the power is within us to determine the future of our country.

Therefore, I implore every newspaper, television station, radio station and, especially, each Nepali citizen rather than give prominence to the continuing mockery of our highest political position, instead pressure all 601 CA Members to complete their job in the time allocated: to truly create a federal, democratic nation with an equitable, secular, republican constitution

Ezra Reflects on Time, Distance and Space from DSC

Hello Mum and Pops and family,

To be fair, whilst you were writing your email to me, it wasn't completely two months ago that we last crossed paths -- but we are certainly heading towards two months at this point.

Although to be even fairer, it isn't like we haven't done this before -- its funny that we should spend two years apart and yet after just three weeks together in Kathmandu it seems that that is the norm.

Although to be completely fair, we did live some 16 years before that together.

However -- point well taken -- it is funny how life goes on...

Even funnier in light of my recent escapades into 'War and Peace', where I have the opportunity to live vicariously through the turning cogs of time that Tolstoy relates to a clock, and see exactly how "life goes on." W&P also has absentee family members for stretches of a time, and I guess that ability to make several years pass by in the print of a word is part of the beauty and allure. Whereas in 'real' life we actually have to live through those days, weeks, months and years.

I guess you guys really took my 'not being back for two years' to heart, seeing as my bed is no longer my bed. Unbelievably, really unbelievable. I'm gone not even two months, I get a couple of emails saying how much my presence is missed, and then slipped casually into the fourth paragraph of a seemingly normal email is the subtle hint that all my possessions have been pawned off and my bed conquered.

Call me old fashioned, but I thought the rule of thumb was six months, not a mere two months. In any case, I don't even think my bed is proportioned correctly for Leah's room (although that would be even more the case for my room seeing as it takes up half my room).

I take it that the keyboard has still not been fixed, and instead you've just become extremely adept at using the on-screen keyboard (a skill I know only too well from when my laptop's v and s stopped working). I feel like I should just suggest purchasing a new keyboard, but I also recognize that that is an extremely obvious answer, so instead, I'll modify it to: purchase a new keyboard NOW. don't wait, you may not pass GO, you may not collect $200. (that is until you get that keyboard).

Having said that, I'm always happy to get emails from you guys and even more so when it isn't just a reminder about this or that. I'm sure you guys know only too well that warm feeling when you get an email from a long lost family member sitting quietly in your inbox, often it makes my day :)

Wow, quite a crew you had over to the house the other w/end. If I'm not mistaken there is a lot of history between that motley crew, but I suppose somewhere in these intervening years they have been resolved (like in W&P I guess years and incidents can just slip by in 'real' life as well).

It sounds like you guys had a lovely time and I'm sure having James, Caroline, and Alexa over was wonderful. Its nice that Josh and Alexa got to spend time together though, its always interesting and fun to pick up the threads of old 'childhood' friendships.

I actually just got off the phone with Grammy, it was nice to talk to somebody from my 'old' world. Its strange how passive we can be in accepting new worlds and how apathetic we are to remembering our old ones, simply accepting them and attempting to not look out of place in the new current we've found ourselves in.

It really was nice though, to hear Grammy's voice and be able to hear through the grapevine how everyone is doing and what everyone is up to. It also made me smile to hear her talk about being in HAMSTERdam for the World Cup finals and listen to her nonchalantly slip in how by 10 in the morning everyone "was out in the streets smoking marijuana".

Anyway, the summer term officially ended five days ago, so it is indeed 'inter-term' although there is still, as ever, much to do on campus. I've slowly been being weened into my new job as one of the four members of a 'Ground and Orderly' staff. Although, I think at the moment I'm running it pretty much solo -- not to imply that I'm doing more than my fair share of work, but just that most of the guys who are away for break and that possibly the grounds aren't so orderly...

I've been in charge of the lawns, and I'm proud to be able to say that for the first time in my life i know what it means to be 'proud of a lawn'. Our DSC lawn is looking very green as I cut it with the lawn mower vehicle. (These are just as fun to ride around on as they appear to be).

Other than that I've been trying to tear away at 'War and Peace', reading 100+ pages a day. Then, usually ending the day with a movie or -- for instance last night -- a group of ten of us congregated on the front porch of the dorm to discuss co-education. I'll spare you the details, but it certainly is contentious and I think rightly so, its not a issue to be taken lightly, but I'm strongly on the pro-side of the debate. As I said, I'll spare you the details and what would inevitably a biased report. Since it is break time, we also have two girlfriends on campus, new teachers, and some of the second years have returned giving a refreshing air to life on campus.

The Summer Seminar was great! I really appreciated it. I thought it was a great way to inculcate us into Deep Springs academia. We had one teacher who taught for all seven weeks, and she had different teachers join her for different segments. I enjoyed her presence, but there was some tension with some of the class who felt that she was narrowly interpreting the texts. Perhaps a fair criticism, but if she was -- then, certainly, the majority of teachers must struggle to strike a balance (which I get the sense many teachers do struggle with the right balance).

Th class began with all of us from 9 to 10:30 for a discussion on the previous night's reading, then we split up for the 11 to 12 class to discuss our other reading.

I don't think many would argue against us having had a great collection of material to read. The course was roughly organized chronologically -- but probably a more accurate description was that it built itself. We created of an intellectual foundation, then read more specific areas of social and political interest.

We started with Hobbes and Locke to build an understanding of man and his movement from the state of nature into a social contract, followed by reading Nietszche, then we moved to Raymond Williams and his understanding the development of the industrial City and the pastoral vision of the Country. We read Karl Polanyi, too, and his analysis of man's progression into a fully fledged capitalist market economy, which was only an indicator of our progression into a fully fledged market society. We then read Carl Schmitt and set a sort of basic understanding of international law and the complications that arose with the introduction of 'the new world' completely free from a jus publicum Europaem.

Then, finally, we read of the fall of that European law with WWI. Meanwhile, we read 'The Book of Job'. Then we ended with a lot of Hannah Arendt and her attempts to convey what politics actually is, plus a look at Gayle Rubin's analysis of sex and gender roles in modern society. Followed by the even more interesting 'The Cyborg Manifesto' written by Donna Harraway, possibly pointing to the future of mankind.

Then with David Neidorf, the DSC president, we looked at 'The Grey Book' -- a collection of letters and significant articles written between or from L. L. Nunn (founder of DSC) to the Student Body between the school's birth and his death not ten years later. I think I heard Keely, our main teacher, describe the class at one point as "setting a framework for self-governance" here at DSC. Certainly Nunn's writings didn't answer all they questions, or perhaps even many, but they did certainly bring some interesting conversations to the fore.

I'll write more soon, but revisiting the whole term has me tired, and 'W&P' is calling to me (I have several hundred pages to read in the next five days), so the next installment will come soon. Lets see if we can get a skype going, I'll ask the Frodo and the Gandalf (the resident 'techies' -- students).

Lots of love, Ezi

The Gardener and His Memories

Another rainy Sunday in Budhanilkantha...

As I dig out my behemoth boulders, shoveling soil over to slope the land and tossing the small stones on to a shimmering pile behind one of the larger rocks, these masterpieces of nature reveal themselves below the bamboo culms above.

For the past few months, nearly every Saturday and Sunday (when I'm in K'du), I'm out in the back w/ shovel, scythe and broken fingernails, clearing the soil and digging out these boulders. For about 2-3 hours I work in my t-shirt and boxers in the mud and water. I've begun to take off my crocs, as the mud feels good between my toes and my grip is better as I step up out of my trench to carry the dirt over to the bamboo groves by the wall.

Usually, after a few hours, Gita will show up with either Nepali tea and some popcorn (which I've explained to Gita that it's hard to eat when my hands are covered w/ mud...).

Today, she stood and watched me for awhile, commenting that it must be good exercise and wondering what I wanted for lunch (fresh juice and yoghurt w/ fruit). She also let me know that Lapsi, my favorite dog and long-time companion is still not eating after two days. Gita said that she's just hiding in the garage with a lonesome look.

Comparing Lapsi to her mom, who is also ill and just went back to the village after a couple weeks in Kathmandu, Gita said that Lapsi is shivering. Two weeks ago, Gita's mom said, "get me back to where it's green and I belong!" She didn't want to die in this unholy city.

We both fear that Lapsi is also getting ready to leave us. We stood quietly for a bit just thinking of our Lapsi, a wolf-like street dog who came to us some 14 years ago when we lived in Mali Gaon. I remember the first day we brought Lapsi up here when it was just land with a wall around it, some 12 years ago. Lapsi ran around like she was in heaven. So much land and freedom, even compared w/ our nice yard in town at that time.

Lapsi was always the best guard dog, too. Attentive, never letting anyone walk by the morning glory covered gabion fence without letting them know that she knew they were there. Yet, so loving, kind and caring to all of us. She's among my dearest friends here. So gracious, beautiful, elegant in her own way, like my long-gone Grandma Rose, refined, calm and steady.

Who knows? Maybe there's a bit of Rose Rose's soul in Lapsi. I certainly don't understand the way of souls, much less where ours go when our physical presence decays and ends.

As they say, "it's a mystery..."

So, who knows, maybe Grandma Rose came back to this odd world to keep an eye on me here in Nepal when the boys were small, to make sure I was on the (nearly) straight and narrow. Maybe she took a long celestial journey, where time probably doesn't exist as we know it, and then found Lapsi's incarnation to enjoy sharing her never-seen grandchildren's early childhood here in Kathmandu.

After all, my dear Grandma was fond of bluntly telling me when I was a young teenager back in Upstate NY more than a few decades ago: "If you don't like America, find somewhere else!"

Funny that, no?

After all, Rose's generation, for good reasons, were true and loving American patriots. For her parents, leaving Eastern Europe and finding peace, stability and generosity in the States was enough of paradise for them. They needn't look any further...

Whereas, I am here, as I mentioned, in my backyard paradise, below lush and sacred Shivapuri digging out my karma on a blessed Himalayan terrace. Possibly, more a student of Milarepa with this constant physical labor than the Yeshiva student I was born to be...

Funny that, no?

But, curiously, it was that same dear, wise, perpetually Pall Mall smoking Grandmother who put my 1954 birth announcement in the NY Herald-Tribune. When it fell out of my "Seven Years Baby Book' some years ago, sometime after starting my life here in Nepal, having carried some of my early life's records and memories here with me, to say the least, I was surprised...

On the backside of the small newspaper snippet encased in plasticine was the bold headline: "The Conqueror of Everest" -- an advertisement for the movie about Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay's expedition to the top of Everest.

Now, who would have guessed that the baby, just fresh from his dear Mom's womb, out in the world of space and time, would end up spending more of his life in Nepal, country of that famous Mt. Everest, than in his native land. Definitely, not my dear Grandma, who some thirteen years later would be telling me to find a new country if I didn't like the current one...

Curious, no? Fate, karma, intentions, dreams, desires, ambitions, confusions, creativity, openness, searching, seeking, finding, losing, finding again, love and finality.

So, beloved Lapsi, incarnation of beloved Grandma Rose, we are coming full cycle, again, twenty-seven years after Rose left us in 1983, when I settled in Kathmandu and received my first 'official' His Majesty's Government visa (ironically to leave suddenly to go back to Manhattan for Rose's death...).

Now, I fear and must acknowledge that you, Lapsi, protector, guide and friend, are preparing yourself for the next state of life or non-life, whatever is out there.

While these boulders are timeless in their own way and I"m just another human ant digging around their surface, a faux archeologist-child dreaming that an ancient Lichchhavi dynasty temple or remnant will appear one day.

Or, as I told Gita, returning to my childhood when I used to meander to a stream not far from our new Haverhill Drive home to look for tadpoles and fish hiding in the shade under a small bridge in suburban DeWitt, NY.

Far from the traumas of Mother Russia where my family came from early that century and yet distant, too, from the complex history of Nepal at the end of that same century to which I was moving -- unseen, unknowable, unconscious in my future.

The 56 year old man has become his six year old self, mud between his toes, dirt under his fingernails, tossing stones and playing in water, like a child.

Or, am I simply an old Japanese man preparing the soil for his Taoist rock garden (some succulents are already planted...), so he can sit in later years on the largest of boulders, under the sway of his Crouching Tiger bamboo grove, staring, eyes awake, at the pure and beautiful emptiness from which all true life appears.

I love you Grandma Rose. Love you, too, Lapsi.

May we all travel in peace for as long as time permits us...

I couldn't have shared this life with any beings more precious, loving and beautiful.

Honest.

Again and always, Shanti Shalom!!

In that almost palpable eternity

Life goes on.

Funny how that happens, no? Day after day, evening after evening, morning after morning.

The days pass...

We saw Ezi last two months ago. Off to the airport and a tender, bitter-sweet goodbye, then, whoosh and he was off to America at the end of June. Now, a few emails, blogs and trips around Nepal later and it's already two months.

Yet there is this unseen, deep bond that belies the distance in space or time. A reflection of the years and memories and tenderness that held us together for so many years. A shared childhood -- while Shakun and I practiced at being parents without a handbook or driver's manual. The boys were too little to realize, completely, what amateurs their parents were at this business of creating people, raising children, embuing them with values, spirit, resilience and courage.

Sorry to say, Josh and Ez were our experiments in living...

(How did we do?)

So I'm here with Shaku and Leah asleep on Ezi's bed (transported upstairs by Tek to Leah's room...), nearly midnight at this oasis, Josh rummaging around downstairs in his room, one other live spirit in the house, while the crickets twitter with their friends outside in the dark, and Tek takes his occasional night-guard stroll around the house tamping his stick on the brick porticos and stone paths around the house.

I'm just floating above, half-asleep myself, thinking it's been too long since I wrote Ezra out in his desert solitude, feeling a father's instinct to communicate, reach out, touch the soul of a distant, much loved son.

That's it.

Typing away (trying to beat that unresponsive 'w' key into submission...) in the quiet of the night, hoping that he will be pleased and charmed to see a message when he next opens his mail.

"You've got mail!"

We had a delightful weekend last week w/ James, Caroline and Alexa, here from Geneva to visit their old Kathmandu friends. A lovely dinner party on Saturday night courtesy of Shakun. Karma, Pia and Silash. Christopher and Francis (Dale was in Vietnam). Lucca and Camilla. The Good-Arnolds and us. Excellent food, drinks, tokes and good cheer. Old friends delighted to be with each other again, more memories, more history, more simple joys.

Amazing, of course, to see Alexa in her fulsomeness of 16 years, thrilled to be back in Kathmandu, planning on doing her IB paper on modern Nepali politics, youthful wrists covered with bracelets and memories of all varieties, reading your "Alchemist" and rushing off to 'Fire and Ice' to meet her friends. Alexa and Josh had an even later night than the parents, up to nearly 3 am, talking and watching a movie late on Saturday night.

Such a profound, almost inexplicable joy seeing friendships develop among our teenage offspring... count it among the subtle, lasting joys of parenthood and this aging process...

[Has anyone read 'Fatherhood for Amatuers' by Michael Chabon? Ez gave it to me. Brilliant, funny, ironic, wise and tender, ever tender...]

Then, Sunday, mid-afternoon, Karma & Pia strolled over and we all went for a walk over to the French cheese factory in Tokha Chandeshwari, an hour from here, for fresh, home-made cheese, lemon tea and some saucisson. Back in the rain, watching the clouds encircle Shivapuri and our homes as the drizzle drizzled while we chatted, mozied along, enjoying the NEFIN bandh in the peacefulness of our little hamlet up in B'kantha.

The week before, Josh and I took a three day 'gumne' (trip) together to Hetauda from Wednesday through Friday. Josh was keen on attending the Tamsaling Federalism Dialogue my team had organized as he and his colleague, Tejendra Lama, from the Nepal Tamang Ghedung (NTG) have won a $1,250 small research grant from our project to do a background paper on the proposed Tamsaling province. We flew down to Simra airport together and shared a room at the Avocado Motel in Hetauda.

Since there were some of our Constituency Dialogues going on at the same time (we are doing these in all 240 electoral constituencies around the country), Josh and I spent one day driving to Birgunj, on the Indian border, to hear 70+ constituents tell their elected Constituent Assembly representatives what they want in the new constitution, and give them grief for not finishing the constitution when they were supposed to last May. Good political theater, of course! But, Josh got fed-up when the local politicians spoke at the end and basically gave their own stump political speeches, instead of concentrating on the real-life issues presented by the local people.

Still, Josh really enjoyed, as he has a keen political and social conscience, particularly with regard to things Nepali -- plus he was with some of his NTG colleagues, practicing his rapidly improving Nepali and observing a unique, national, historical, once-in-a-lifetime, political process outside Kathmandu.

Vat's not to like??

Dear sleeping Leah is more caught up with the real-childhood struggles to keep her young kitten, Coby, away from our household dogs and negotiating (unsuccessfully...) with Mom to keep Coby in her bed at night. That, with the daily dramas of school and her friends, keeps her pretty occupied.

Plus, Leah's really happy with her new Lincoln teacher, Mr. R. (Ryan). He seems like a sweet, caring and insightful young man. He's just recently married and came from Khartoum (with Phil Clinton, the new director). A real find for Lincoln, it seems, recruited to come with Phil. Leah' 4th grade has been divided into two sections of about 12 kids each -- a wonderful size for this age. Tragically (in her mind...), she's separated from her 'best friend', Aarya, and Tapashri, but, fortunately, her other dear friends, Anna and Purnika, are in her class. It's great to see how motivated and positive Leah is about school. That's still the best indicator of her overall state of being and mind.

Whoosh, again!!

I'm out to Dhulikhel for a couple days for our Newa province Federalism Dialogue. I've also been invited to present a paper at a conference of Himalayan scholars and professionals on our Federalism Dialogue work in Madison, Wisconsin in October this year. My friends and colleagues, Professor Krishna Khanal and Professor Krishna Hachhethu and I will co-write the paper and, hopefully, if funds are found, travel together for the presentation. A new experience for me after all these years of my development work.

Ok, it's 12:40 am and time to get ready for another day...

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Til the last tomorrow...

When we sleep with G-d

In that almost palpable eternity,

Between our breaths.

Anicca. Anicca. Anicca.

'When the earth was unformed and void...' [Genesis 1.2]

More Whoosh!

This Circle Game.

Shanti Shalom,

... once again!

A New Nepal Revealed: Hetauda Returned

Sitting with the professors, Joshua and Surendra behind the Motel Avocado in Hetauda on an August evening with a table of snacks and drinks after a long and busy day at the Tamsaling Federalism Dialogue...

This is our eleventh Federalism Dialogue. We started in Ilam in the east almost six months ago and have gone all the way to Dadeldhura for Khaptad as we have chased the fourteen proposed provinces of the new federal republic of Nepal, as proposed by the Constituent Assembly State Restructuring Committee.

Being responsible for the civil society outreach for our 'Participatory Constitution Building" project, I thought of conducting these three day seminar-dialogues across the country by inviting 40-50 local leaders of mixed ethnicity/caste, gender, professions, political parties and civil society. Then, I imagined two well-matched astute political observers and engaged academics who could facilitate these workshops while being considered relatively independent and neutral in their party affiliation.

From that thought arrived Professors Krishna Khanal and Krishna Hachhethu, smart, savvy and sophisticated political scientists who know the reality of the political party system in Nepal, as well as the recent and current crop of political leaders as well as anyone who is not an active politician themselves.

I'd known and respected Krishna Khanal from a study he did for SC/US on Dalits in Siraha in the early 90s before becoming the HMG SWC Member-Secretary in the mid-90s, under a Girija Koirala Congress party government. I didn't really know how close he was to Koirala at that time and lost touch w/ him until he gained his national reputation during the 1990 movement and then leaving the Congress Party ten years later in disappointment.

Krishna Hachhethu's name I'd read when I was doing my Fielding Masters, "A Path Forward" on the Nepal peace process in 2006. Then, when I first saw him speak I knew that he had an impressive command of his knowledge and the self-confidence to wisely and sensitively lead a discussion.

A respected Brahmin and an intellectual Newar to lead national discussions fraught with ethnic, cultural, linguistic and geographic dimensions and anxieties. Who better? Two experienced individuals who loved to travel within Nepal to hear the people's voices and communicate their inner workings of their own political system to local leaders who have spent their lives depending on the power of Kathmandu.

So, with the good and dedicated support of Surendra, Mom, Sita, Basanti, Aruna and Neha, our seven month Federalism Dialogue tour d'Nepal begins to draw to a close.

After eleven Dialogues among the Limbus, the Kirats, the Madhesis, the Gurungs, the Magars, Hill Brahmins and Chhetris, Dalits, remote Karnali communities and Tamangs... only Newa Pradesh, Jadan and Sherpa Pradesh left in the next six weeks.

Twice a month since March we have organized two Dialogues a month, carefully trying to balance the invitation list to ensure a rich and stimulating diversity of leaders from these newly proposed provinces while growing from 40+ people to 70+ at each Dialogue.

Many nights, after the formal sessions, Surendra, Mom and I have joined the professors for our nightly political science seminar hearing their stories of the hidden background of the peace process, qualities of the political 'leaders' who have led the major political parties the past few decades (present individuals included...), historical national personalities, missing documents between the government and the palace, external military pressure and the continuing international involvement in the higher affairs of the State...

Like chela with our gurus, students with their professors, we've had the pleasure and opportunity to learn more about modern Nepali politics than if we had simply read Khanal's published articles and Hachhethu's highly praised book.

We've also become good friends.

Evening mates who have created a process and, possibly, an accomplishment for which we all have felt deeply engaged, committed and proud these past months. Out of Kathmandu, in the various proposed state capitals for these new provinces. Personally, carrying the work of this historic Constituent Assembly constitutional process out to people who deserve to know and desire be involved in the unique restructuring of their nation state.

There is so much I've learned...

So much done, and to do...

Relationships deepened...

Understanding gained...

Even after all these years...

A New Nepal revealed...

'As for me...' Ez Checks In from DSC #3

I couldn't decide on a form of salutation, so I suppose this will have to do as an acknowledgment on my part that I thought about it -- but really just couldn't come up with anything that encapsulated what I wanted to encapsulate.

In any case, if that wasn't satisfactory then how about just a simple "Hey!"

The necessities needing to be dealt with first as I was in need of buying several items, namely
'War & Peace', a companion to 'War & Peace', and an Ali G dvd. The essentials of life, no?

There is going to be a Tolstoy/Kafka class offered next term and you have to have read 'War & Peace' before the term starts so I have just started today and en challah I will be done by the start of Term 2. If the first sixty pages are anything to judge by, I will really enjoy the next 1000+. Tolstoy has already managed to weave together numerous characters, places, ideas, trains of thought without sacrificing the larger fabric of the novel.

Anyway perhaps it is time to finish that "As for me..." that I finished my last email with or, as you put it Mom, "the finding of my navel at Deep Springs".

I'm not sure that I have found my navel here because finding your navel here is not the same as most places. It is full of intricacies and nuances that I'm not sure I can express, let alone fully express. In fact, looking back retrospectively it seems that each week only brings me seemingly insignificant amounts closer to having even a basic understanding of the fabric at work here.

You are, of course, catching me right after possibly the most expressive form of the tensions that flow underneath our simple existence at Deep Springs -- the infamous student body (SB) meeting. It is here where the hydra's seemingly endless stream of heads rear themselves in some of the most beautiful, as well as conflicting, forms of truth. The student body fights back and forth, for hours at a time, over relatively innocuous legislation -- finding underneath the harmless veneer of legislation countless conflicts and problems that one can't help but feel are simply symptomatic of humanity itself.

I think perhaps its time I go to bed -- I'll finish tomorrow -- before my ramblings become entirely unintelligible.

However, like a recently disturbed bowl of miso soup, I have to say (before the miso settles to a more distinct and manageable state of confusion) that these ramblings will probably only become more unintelligible before (or rather if) they get slightly more comprehensible. There is a lot at play here and I'm not sure yet that I understand the pieces, or the board, or even the rules for that matter -- anyway as I said, perhaps it is time to go to bed. Hopefully a little bit of 'War & Peace' will settle my broth.

Until tomorrow....

Okay, great! It is no longer Friday night and I'm returning to this email on Monday mid-afternoon. As you can see (and I can as well), my state of mind that night was ... something. I'm not sure exactly what that something entails, but I think it is good to have those 'something' moments -- in fact that 'something' is the mindset I usually find myself in after most SB meetings.

It really is as if the politics and self-governance of the student body lay dormant for the week and then on Friday nights rear their head for all of us to awe at it. Often a combination of frustration, happiness, zeal, camaraderie, and more frustration. Trying to grasp exactly what it is that is going on, what needs to be done, and what your role in all of it is confusing to say the least -- but it is also in a odd way inspiring. I think I'll leave it at that because at this point I really can't elucidate the process any more.

However, in spite of all of that confusion there still is no place I'd rather be, and I am thrilled to be here. The majority of days go by without this degree of internal conflict and as with any community we have begun to develop our own rhythm and idiosyncrasies. There are always things to be done and often people doing them, although equally as often people not doing them.

Summer Seminar continues to be fascinating and we have just come off the back of a week on Rousseau and his 'Discourse on Inequality' and 'The Book of Job', and the week before that we got into political economy reading Carl Schmitt and his 'Nomos of the Earth', Karl Polanyi's 'The Great Transformation', Garett Hardin's 'The Tragedy of the Common', Adam Smith's 'Wealth of Nations', and other good stuff like that. All of it very interesting as we had into our last couple of weeks of the seminar.

It was nice to hear from both of you! Dad, despite your lack of the 's' and the 'w' on the keyboard, it was fun to hear you sort of ramble (perhaps more fun because of it?) Always good to hear that you are in the garden battling the forces of nature, specifically your dearest of enemies -- the evergreen boulder. Perhaps there is some darker and more sinister psychology at work regarding your undying fascination with the movement and manipulation of these boulders -- but I won't even begin to explore them.

Its good to know that all of this is happening to the backdrop of my free flowin' tunes -- perhaps two more won't hurt? (specifically with Miss Leah Loo in mind): Can't Get it Right Today - Joe Purdy and Sunshine - Matt Costa.

Mom, I think I sort of addressed your thoughts on finding my navel here at DS -- all I can say is that I'm working on it. It sounds like Josh is really being helpful to you and I'm glad that you, him, and Kishore are making quite the triumvirate. I'm sure he is elated at being able to fly from one side of town to the other on his new motorcycle -- after all it is the hip thing to do, isn't it (the flying)? Thanks for the lovely musings on Hypatia, balance, memories, and time and space. The poem was also lovely!

Anyway, I'm off to get some work done (although in all probability it will descend quickly and unrelentingly into an extended nap). Give my love to Josh and Leah!

Lots of love, Ez

Rock Gardens in the Backyard

Well, I"ve just gotten my w/end exercise. Not ultimate frisbee yet over at St. Xavier's w/ a much younger crowd, but still digging out my karma in my own backyard.

I put in nearly two hours yesterday and another two this morning moving soil, a bit Sisyphean, of course, like so many of life's efforts, but it feels good to reveal the under-land depth of these beautiful boulders, plus the physicalness of the work, as opposed to sitting at a desk composing literary emails, feels robust and healthy-minded when I've got the time to be home.

Plus (another Jewish reason to justify a simple act of well-being...), there is beauty being revealed and created, mefeels. Slowly the rocks show themselves, with their curves, colors and creative potential.

Then, when I add the succulents or low bamboo around their shapes, there is a visible contrast that appeals to the mind and our love of beauty.

So, the act of moving a shovel seems to offer a Platonic plateau of being that lifts me from my Sunday torpor into the elevated realms of creation.

Not bad, when reflected upon...

As I sit here at the iMac, I am also enjoying trundling through the collection of e-music Ez left me on iTunes. Ever trying organize things even as I can be the less organized of souls.

Swinging from the need to find categories (blame Aristotle...) in which to arrange my life, thoughts, papers, photos, music et al to letting it all just float by in the swirl of life's ambiguities and charms, like the clouds over Shivapuri's ridge.

I guess that would be Pythagoras, in a way. The sound of the universe.

Or, Apollo, the god of such ethereal gifts to we mortals.

Music is another of life's gifts.

Tolstoy on the Great Passage

LEO TOLSTOY 1828 – 1910

‘We all reveal ... our manifestations ... This manifestation is over ... That's all’

Tolstoy left his estate, aged 82, to begin a new life as a peasant. Reaching the small town of Astapovo he contracted pneumonia, and died a few days later in the stationmaster’s house. According to the stationmaster, his last words were: ‘But the peasants … how do the peasants die?’

His friend Vladimir Chertkov preferred to remember something from the night before. 'He was lying on his back, breathing heavily … all of a sudden - as if arguing with himself - broke out in a loud voice:

"We all reveal ... our manifestations ... This manifestation is over ... That's all".'

Home is our children...

Life is a lot to manage, at times, and we are all tested along the way, particularly in our primary relationships. Marriage is a great gift but a bit of a maze, as well, at times as we try to fill our own lives and passions while caring for the person who shares the journey and life with us.

I know how much Shakun and I struggle, at times, to find that balance and keep our marriage real and honest while, at the same time, challenging each other and not losing the cord that connects us. We are both so thankful that we have our three children to keep us bound together in mutual adoration and affection of these holy creatures...

Ez, we know is now gone on the other side of the earth's shadow up into the High Sierras. We're so happy for him as it's what he wanted, this form of isolation and intense community. He'd been reading Thoreau at NMH his Junior year and wanted the challenge of finding out some simple, hard truths for himself at college.

Plus, he is a natural for the intense leadership responsibilities that DSC offers and depends upon. He'll have plenty of time to read Plato, Locke and Tolkien while doing his daily chores, learning how to herd cattle and help manage the college. He is definitely following his own drummer in this life and we expect he will meander for a few years ahead in finding his way and purpose in life.

After two years of DSC, Ez may head to one of the East Coast universities to complete his education (ala Obama...) and become fully bicoastal, or balance his new desert world with East Coast urbanity. No doubt, Ez already has a beautiful soul, these years are simply to find his meaning, settle some youthful questions and create his independence.

In that regard, Ez and Josh are quite different. Josh is so happy to be here w/ us in the family home for the summer, watching 'Bambi' on his computer w/ Leah, helping Shakun with her website design, working in a local Tamang NGO on ethnic rights, building an innovative, organic greenhouse in the backyard, buying a new motorcycle and hanging out with his childhood friends here in Kathmandu.

Josh is totally loyal to Nepal and doesn't even want to hear me talk of spending a few years in the States. He's his mother's son and devoted to her, her causes and the Nepali side of his life. Although going back to Georgetown at the end of August, he hasn't really settled in the US in a deep way. He enjoys his studies on South Asia politics and governance, but his heart is still fully in the Himalaya and our home.

For now, Josh says that he is coming 'home' to Nepal to start up his own businesses when he graduates (after spending a Junior year at SOAS in London to stretch his wings and watch football games...). Josh's good and kind heart is right here, near us and on our land.

As for Leah, she is in love with her new kitten, Coaby, who sleeps with her and Leah protects from the dogs, especially, Sumi, in the yard. Her summer camp is over, so she has more time at home with Gita and Laxmi, her two 'didis' and dear, older sister friends. Like Josh, Leah, too, is a real homebody. She wants us to buy a beach house in America (ala Hannah Montana...), but still insists that we never sell this home, the only home she has ever had.

Funny, this sense of home that envelopes us as we're busy doing other things...

Funny, rich, satisfying and profoundly fulfilling...

'Even the Wisest Can't Tell...' Update #2 from Ez of the Desert

Hey family!

Well, of all people to tell you that I had sent an email I probably would have guessed Leah last -- but I'm glad that your race up to the top of the hilltop in Dandeldhura was greeted by my email.

'Numina' is indeed an apt word to describe my relation to the desert, but it's an enjoyable numina. You, however, are not the only one who hasn't spent time in the desert -- I was thinking the other day that the desert is one of the few environments that 'Lord of the Rings' hardly references as well. Of course Tolkein's Euro-centric vision can be excused for not adding literary splendor to the catalog of novels that have commented on the desert.

Also, as nice a picture it is to imagine me sitting on a rock in my "open lanscape just indulging the sense of space and the curiosity of time out there in the High Sierra" it probably doesn't happen as often as I would like (I probably even imagine myself doing the same on the odd occasion) -- Deep Springs is not monastery, at least not in the typical sense of the word.

Maybe an educational monastery, but education (at least by the Western Canon of thought) is not particularly solemn, introspective, or withdrawn, but based on activity, discussion, and liveliness. A hive of activity would be more descriptive of it, although certainly at moments and in different aspects it is monastic. Certainly, I think there is a certain collective desire that it would be more monastic on the part of the student body, yet too often we are pulled away by our cultural inclinations -- the hegemony of the West.

Even so this isn't so much a criticism of the students, but more simply the reality of the situation. It probably would be more monastic if there were more time, but between trying to "eradicate the line between intellectuals and laborers," as well as simply 'doing', we end up looking more like a Marxist commune than a remote monastery tucked away in the folds of the desert.

Nonetheless, on my more permitting days I am able to find time to simply sit on a rock, or in my room, or at the upper reservoir, or the Time Shack (a record room in the basement of the main building), and can simply ruminate. But, as I said, those are the more permitting days and even then it seems the time to reflect is fleeting. However, I certainly have been able to 'sit on a rock' more time than I ever did at NMH (or probably any time before that, come to think of it). So although I hope to find more time I certainly cannot complain as to the current levels of ruminating.

As you noted, it was indeed my first night at Deep Springs -- but not exactly at the college and probably just about toeing the line between Deep Springs Valley and the neighboring Eureka Valley -- when the second year students took us up a nearby ridge where we laid down our sleeping mats and bags to have our first SB (student body) meeting. Then they announced they were leaving, and off they left. So the sixteen of us first year students, just introduced to each other, sat huddled around the fire, under the most amazing sky splattered with stars (or rather stars splattered with sky) and got to know each other.

Its a nice class, a good mix of kids, but I guess particularly notable for its amiability in comparison to DS classes historically (or so they say...). We woke up in the morning, cooked ourselves bacon, eggs, and a whole lot of bacon grease in between, then climbed the several hundred feet left to the top of Chocolate Mountain, before we continued onward with the three hour or so hike back to campus.

I was very sad to hear from you about Tiger, if Tara did indeed push Tiger over it seems a strange, sadistic power is at play -- even in nature. Odd, and frightening that an animal would be capable of such an action -- all the more considering we consider them not to have 'consciences'.

It is also slightly concerning to hear another untruth told to Leah over the disappearance over yet another childhood pet, but what am I to do? At some point or another Leah will have to face these realities and I think we maybe try to protect her too much. Then again, maybe she is too young to know these sadistic traits of the world; however I think it is worth noting the exposure Leah has received via her education in film.

There is certainly a lack of continuity between her 'reel' life education and 'real' life -- but maybe I'm over analyzing. Regardless, I look forward to meeting our newest addition to the family (whether it is Coco or otherwise) when I return to our Himalayan kingdom (whenever that is).

It sounds like both Leah and Josh are doing well, I think of you guys often and of course fondly. I miss you guys, but don't worry I'm not homesick.

It sounds, too, like Dad you are enjoying your Federalism Dialogues, and your newfound (or should I say 'refound') power. I have no doubt that you can handle Larry's absence, and I am sure that people will appreciate your presence. After all, if you don't mind reminding them, before you joined the UN conglomerate you probably had more leadership experience than most of them.

It's just a matter of whether they give you the position to exert those influences -- although, I do think its a good thing you've been relegated to bit-part leader for the past couple of years, altho who knows maybe it's time for a return? Or maybe not? Who knows, "even the wisest cannot tell" (as Galadriel says).

And hopefully Sushila (Gita's daughter) does get the stewardess job, even if is against all odds. After all, 'against all odds' is kind of how I ended up where I am now at Deep Springs so I have faith in the power of "against all odds".

Interestingly enough I had a dream the other day I ran into Gita, Tek, and Anita at a tea shop in Kathmandu -- an odd experience (in a dream no less), but it was nice to see them.

Now I just need an update from you Mumski, I appreciated your soulful reminders of your existence from across the Orient to my little oasis here in California, but give me some meat to work with. ;) I like hearing what you are you up to in addition to forwarded power points of your political and civil endeavors...

As for me...

That is for another email, hopefully within the next couple of days, time permitting (for "even the wisest cannot tell") and besides if you read between the lines of this email I'm sure you'll be able to tell I'm doing well. Vignettes and other things to come next email ;)

Love, Ezi

Shaku's Extended Haiku after Visiting Lisa...

Yesterday, Pia, Leah and I went to visit our friend, Lisa, who has returned to Nepal with her Nepali husband, Ravi, after ten years in the States. Lisa is very ill with a brain cancer that was diagnosed less than a year ago. Her choice was not unfortunately to live or die... but she made the choice to spend her last months (years...) in Nepal where she had lived some of her best years, when our sons were young friends.

Now, however, her vehicle staggers her mind with occasional memory of sharp illusions, like a passing comet, leaving a trail of wonder in the lives of those who watch her slip slowly into the unknown.

At one moment while Pia was arranging the colored sun daisies, emanating the dreams of illusive joy besides her bed, and I was gently massaging her fragile hands, she implored, "I hope someone could help me how to die. I am not ready to leave my family and the community. I hope I had stayed with the community."

Her words welled tears in my eyes and I had no truth to offer her to counter the truth she offered me. I said "Lisa, you are not ready and none of us are ready to let you go."

Life and death happens while we are busy making other plans (my homage to the magnanimous soul of John Lennon).

After the visit, an overstretched haiku overcame my being and left me wondering in calm repose.


Not Ready

Not ready to leave she says
But
I am leaving

I fear dying without the living
While
They fear to live without the dying

Unknown knowing
Where
Is the labyrinth, where the knowing meets the unknown

Life is the act of death
And
Death is a memory of love and wonder.

Peaches, Avocados and Bergman

shaku and i walked in at 8 pm friday night from work. leah was home w/ tek and laxmi. when we're late, they care for her as she watches her favorite TV shows (cartoons or animal planet) while josh is coming in from thamel w/ a couple buddies to play risk at home later tonight.

i grabbed a small plum sized green peach from the three large containers in the kitchen as i walked upstairs. i'd asked laxmi and gita to pick them off the trees today, as i noticed that some were already over-ripe from the rains. in fact, laxmi just said there are many more on the top of the trees that she and gits cudn't reach -- so tek or i will have to get the ladder this w/end. kathmandu peaches are still, mostly, hard, unripe little fellas -- but the soft one i just took while passing upstairs was juicy, tender and almost sweet.

best, of course, is knowing that they come from saplings we've planted in the backyard over the years. these 15' peach trees are in the way back ('beyond beyond', as the buddhists say...). i forget exactly where they came from... many i bought w/ nick in the bishalnagar nursery years ago when he and gis were living near there. others came from that lovely indian peach farmer who was in k'du a decade ago selling us all on his nani tal peaches.

alas, however, nepali peaches haven't been our most tasty fruits -- even if they are the most prolific. we must have a few score kilo of peaches on 6-7 trees. there are buckets already downstairs, with more buckets to come if we harvest all that are out there, before the birds nibble away as they ripen on the brances.

yet i still dream of greek peaches as big as grapefruit with the sweet, sticky, salivating juice sliding off my lips as i bite into these luscious summertime treats. but, given our summer monsoon, the relatively lower elevation of kathmandu (relative, that is, to the latitude...), i doubt that these young fruit will have the chance to ripen to purrrfection the way they do in the drier climate of europe.

still love the one you're with! these are our own lichhavi lane peaches!! from these, gita and josh have already made a big bottle of peach jam that tastes delicious! now, gita's working on peach mash for peach juice. i just swirled a thick glass of the stuff that is rich in backyard joy if not quite as suave and sugary as the Real juices sold downtown. no doubt, we'll have a few more bottles of jame and juice in the days to come when gita finishes unveiling these green peaches.

in addition to the ripening peaches, some of our mangos have come inside as they got so big they were falling off the pint-sized trees. these are grafted mango trees so the they won't get 40' tall like the ones in the terai, but only get maybe 15-20', i hope. these small trees are only 4-5' now, but have begun to shed fruit already. there are about 5-8 mangos per tree and some 4-5 trees fruiting this year. all of these mangos are migrants from siraha in the terai seven years ago when my colleague, lilemani sharma, brought them from nurseries that save the children had initiated for the local farmers.

plus, in this year's best surprise, one of our avocado trees has 15-20 avocados hanging from various branches. only one of the trees is fruiting so far. last year it had two fruit, so we're getting ready for a deluge in the coming years when all five of the trees start hanging with those dark devilish green vessels.

the seeds or saplings originally came from california. a friend, david sowerwine, part-time inventor and agriculturist, who gave them to us some years ago, as well. i tried to grow a handful from avocado seeds that we'd brought from our honeymoon a few decades ago in bali, but those trees never fruited, so we switched to david's saplings, which promise bowls of guacamole and avocado sandwiches in the coming years!

ok, leah is chasing coady or coady is chasing leah, when she's not hanging coady by her ears in a curious cat yogic posture. coady is leah's newfound friend, an ex-street/field kitten that gita brought home a few weeks ago. now coady has worked her way into the house at night-times to sleep w/ leah (and me last night...). she's thin as a bean and quick as lightning flipping and fleeing around the room with rapid instincts and enigmatic movements. still, coady's quite friendly, in a cat-ish way, but w/o the humanizing eyes that puppies and dogs have, at times, so always a bit of an extra-terrestrial ET creature from my perspective...

time for dinner and to watch the 'smiles of a summer night', a bergman classic, they say. it's a swedish turn of 19th/20th century 'midsummer night's dream' story of love, illusions, sensuality and irony -- a comedy, of course, since it takes a bit of a distant look at we confusing and confounding humans.

as chancey gardener used to say, 'i like to watch!'.