Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Shaku's Extended Haiku after Visiting Lisa...

Yesterday, Pia, Leah and I went to visit our friend, Lisa, who has returned to Nepal with her Nepali husband, Ravi, after ten years in the States. Lisa is very ill with a brain cancer that was diagnosed less than a year ago. Her choice was not unfortunately to live or die... but she made the choice to spend her last months (years...) in Nepal where she had lived some of her best years, when our sons were young friends.

Now, however, her vehicle staggers her mind with occasional memory of sharp illusions, like a passing comet, leaving a trail of wonder in the lives of those who watch her slip slowly into the unknown.

At one moment while Pia was arranging the colored sun daisies, emanating the dreams of illusive joy besides her bed, and I was gently massaging her fragile hands, she implored, "I hope someone could help me how to die. I am not ready to leave my family and the community. I hope I had stayed with the community."

Her words welled tears in my eyes and I had no truth to offer her to counter the truth she offered me. I said "Lisa, you are not ready and none of us are ready to let you go."

Life and death happens while we are busy making other plans (my homage to the magnanimous soul of John Lennon).

After the visit, an overstretched haiku overcame my being and left me wondering in calm repose.

Not Ready

Not ready to leave she says
I am leaving

I fear dying without the living
They fear to live without the dying

Unknown knowing
Is the labyrinth, where the knowing meets the unknown

Life is the act of death
Death is a memory of love and wonder.

No comments: