ITHAKA
Constantine P. Cavafy
As you set out for Ithaka
hope your road is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
angry Poseidon-don't be afraid of them:
you'll never find the things like that on your way
as long as you keep thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
wild Poseidon-you won't encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.
Hope your road is a long one.
May there be many summer mornings when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you enter harbors you're seeing for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony.
sensual perfume of every kind-
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to learn and go on learning from their scholars.
Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you're destined for.
But don't hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you're old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you've gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.
Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you wouldn't have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.
And if you find her poor, Ithaka won't have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you'll have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
"I Have Become a Question to Myself", St. Augustine
these are my last days w/ my sons out at northfield mount hermon before i head half way around the world on saturday morning while they settle in here in bucolic western massachusetts...
josh and i did a few hours of shopping in greenfield this afternoon. it gave us time to chat about some larger and more curious aspects of life, while josh got to pick up a bunch of food, vitamin drink and school supplies he wanted. as i have reminded him a few times over the past week, i'm just their personal chauffeur and atm machine. i think he finally appreciates the truth of the joke.
josh also spoke about the differences in his life here at nmh and why he wanted to come, why its been good for him, what he wants to achieve this year and, most interestingly for me: how he's more an american-nepali than a nepali-american as he's grown up uniquely as an american in nepal, not a nepali in america. quite a fascinating and insightful distinction for a 17 year old, no?
then, with a mixture of pride and envy, josh says that ezi and suraj find it so easy to talk to everyone at the school -- even the new girls -- because he paved the way last year on his own, so they better appreciate the hard times he went through on his own to pave the way for them...
in many ways he's right. so many people at nmh have great affection for josh from last year, so there's a natural cocoon of good feelings, friends, teachers and administrators who accept ezi and suraj immediately b/c of their relationship w/ joshua.
today, i barely bumped into ez and suraj in between their int'l student meetings and activities. they seemed totally at ease and 'chilled'. just time enough, in fact, to give ezi cash to shop this afternoon w/ his group at a nearby mall. i'll have more time w/ ezra tomorrow when we do the enrollment, then i'm taking he, josh and suraj for dinner either in greenfield or northampton.
an hour ago, i drove in along one of bruce springsteen's dark, lonely highways from northampton (35 minutes away on I-95). i had dinner w/ margret and arthur at their simple home near smith college. margaret's my friend from my amherst days when she was the radical librarian throwing barbs at the ivory tower from behind her stacks of books in robert frost library.
it's always grounding to see them as they are a bit of what dickens would call 'the salt of the earth'. margret with her ironic perspective on privileged amherst and america, while arthur is such a gentle and good-hearted person who was recently promoted to the superintendent of the smith technical-vocational school in northampton. behind his green, owlish eyeglasses, he's a very sweet, wise and grounded guy. in addition to their work and margret's italian translations, they walk the forests of western mass and spend the occasional week exploring 'la dolce vita' in their beloved rome.
once again, in america, i'm impressed how so many people continue to reinvent themselves in their 50s and 60s while continuing to contribute to the world around tehm while enjoying their lives along the way.
also, before connecting w/ my sons this morning, i drove straight to greenfield from bruce's to have lunch w/ lee, janet and their son, cory. it was really fun to reconnect w/ them, as lee said, 'two summers in a row'. they had just deposited their daughter, hannah, at williams college. we spoke of these separations and new lives that begin to grow within us as our children depart.
of course, i had to diverge into a mini-lecture to cory on the nature of hinduism over my tunafish sandwich. g-d knows how i got there, but, no doubt through some idle aside or our animated discussion on the taliban in afghanistan.
but, outside of the talib, who were practically invisible in greenfield today, and our mini-contretemps on barak and hillary (ohh, so democratic to feud in the clan...), there were more reflections on our lives with no little amazement at how much we've done since way back when and how mature our children have become.
of course, there was some irony in these two amherst freshmen roommates meeting, almost to the day, 36 years later when we were enrolling our own children at williams and nmh. full, fuller, fullest circle in so many delightful ways...
as i was rabbiting with lee and janet on about my own personal confusions at this stage of life, my children leaving us, my job disappearing, nepal dissolving, lee left me w/ a brilliant st. augustine quote that the williams chaplain had just related to the parents as an aspiration for their children:
'i have become a question to myself'.
i immediately felt that i had a friend in st. augustine, as well as lee. i think that expression so well describes my thoughts and bemusement in this world.
although, again, as it's coming soon, it's hard, saying adieu to my beautiful adolescent men in less than two days. but when i read the words that ezi wrote today in a long, loving, insightful and wise email to shaku back in k'du and have the heartfelt conversations that i've had w/ josh this week, i know that this change for them is good, very good, albeit hard -- possibly even more for us.
for these evolving adults, their time to grow wings came a bit early, it's true, but so naturally along the way.
it's part of the larger lives we created for them over their first sixteen years...
so international, confident, curious and loved.
as cavafy would say:
kathmandu is their personal ithaka and, no doubt, they will spend a lifetime finding their way back home.
this then is the beginning of that metaphorical return to us, their parents, nepal, their origin, and, most crucially and exquisitely, to themselves...
their beautiful, noble and rare souls.
bless them.
josh and i did a few hours of shopping in greenfield this afternoon. it gave us time to chat about some larger and more curious aspects of life, while josh got to pick up a bunch of food, vitamin drink and school supplies he wanted. as i have reminded him a few times over the past week, i'm just their personal chauffeur and atm machine. i think he finally appreciates the truth of the joke.
josh also spoke about the differences in his life here at nmh and why he wanted to come, why its been good for him, what he wants to achieve this year and, most interestingly for me: how he's more an american-nepali than a nepali-american as he's grown up uniquely as an american in nepal, not a nepali in america. quite a fascinating and insightful distinction for a 17 year old, no?
then, with a mixture of pride and envy, josh says that ezi and suraj find it so easy to talk to everyone at the school -- even the new girls -- because he paved the way last year on his own, so they better appreciate the hard times he went through on his own to pave the way for them...
in many ways he's right. so many people at nmh have great affection for josh from last year, so there's a natural cocoon of good feelings, friends, teachers and administrators who accept ezi and suraj immediately b/c of their relationship w/ joshua.
today, i barely bumped into ez and suraj in between their int'l student meetings and activities. they seemed totally at ease and 'chilled'. just time enough, in fact, to give ezi cash to shop this afternoon w/ his group at a nearby mall. i'll have more time w/ ezra tomorrow when we do the enrollment, then i'm taking he, josh and suraj for dinner either in greenfield or northampton.
an hour ago, i drove in along one of bruce springsteen's dark, lonely highways from northampton (35 minutes away on I-95). i had dinner w/ margret and arthur at their simple home near smith college. margaret's my friend from my amherst days when she was the radical librarian throwing barbs at the ivory tower from behind her stacks of books in robert frost library.
it's always grounding to see them as they are a bit of what dickens would call 'the salt of the earth'. margret with her ironic perspective on privileged amherst and america, while arthur is such a gentle and good-hearted person who was recently promoted to the superintendent of the smith technical-vocational school in northampton. behind his green, owlish eyeglasses, he's a very sweet, wise and grounded guy. in addition to their work and margret's italian translations, they walk the forests of western mass and spend the occasional week exploring 'la dolce vita' in their beloved rome.
once again, in america, i'm impressed how so many people continue to reinvent themselves in their 50s and 60s while continuing to contribute to the world around tehm while enjoying their lives along the way.
also, before connecting w/ my sons this morning, i drove straight to greenfield from bruce's to have lunch w/ lee, janet and their son, cory. it was really fun to reconnect w/ them, as lee said, 'two summers in a row'. they had just deposited their daughter, hannah, at williams college. we spoke of these separations and new lives that begin to grow within us as our children depart.
of course, i had to diverge into a mini-lecture to cory on the nature of hinduism over my tunafish sandwich. g-d knows how i got there, but, no doubt through some idle aside or our animated discussion on the taliban in afghanistan.
but, outside of the talib, who were practically invisible in greenfield today, and our mini-contretemps on barak and hillary (ohh, so democratic to feud in the clan...), there were more reflections on our lives with no little amazement at how much we've done since way back when and how mature our children have become.
of course, there was some irony in these two amherst freshmen roommates meeting, almost to the day, 36 years later when we were enrolling our own children at williams and nmh. full, fuller, fullest circle in so many delightful ways...
as i was rabbiting with lee and janet on about my own personal confusions at this stage of life, my children leaving us, my job disappearing, nepal dissolving, lee left me w/ a brilliant st. augustine quote that the williams chaplain had just related to the parents as an aspiration for their children:
'i have become a question to myself'.
i immediately felt that i had a friend in st. augustine, as well as lee. i think that expression so well describes my thoughts and bemusement in this world.
although, again, as it's coming soon, it's hard, saying adieu to my beautiful adolescent men in less than two days. but when i read the words that ezi wrote today in a long, loving, insightful and wise email to shaku back in k'du and have the heartfelt conversations that i've had w/ josh this week, i know that this change for them is good, very good, albeit hard -- possibly even more for us.
for these evolving adults, their time to grow wings came a bit early, it's true, but so naturally along the way.
it's part of the larger lives we created for them over their first sixteen years...
so international, confident, curious and loved.
as cavafy would say:
kathmandu is their personal ithaka and, no doubt, they will spend a lifetime finding their way back home.
this then is the beginning of that metaphorical return to us, their parents, nepal, their origin, and, most crucially and exquisitely, to themselves...
their beautiful, noble and rare souls.
bless them.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
This American Boy
it's about 10 pm on saturday night. i just checked in on josh, ezi and suraj after having dinner w/ metta, the nmh admissions officer who is a good friend of joshua's. she's the filipino-american third culture kid (TCK) who graduated from nmh fifteen years ago, then did a couple of masters degrees in nyc and is now working on bringing more international diversity to nmh. (there are already 33 countries represented in this year's 600+ enrollment.)
the boys are ok, but wickedly tired. suraj is hanging w/ the other kids outside on the front porch while ez is up in the room on his back resting his vulnerable ankle and josh is relaxing by playing his soccer computer game.
to say the least, the soccer coaches have been working the kids mercilessly at this four day varsity try-out. constant running, sit-ups and push-ups. they've had about six-seven hours of training a day in 1.5 or 3 hour sessions under the heat of the sun. there have been a few scrimmages with lots of drills and work-outs.
even suraj says, 'it's crazy, man. these americans love their fitness. we had nothing like this in nepal.'
the intensity of the try-out is so severe, watching them, i wonder if all three will make the varsity team this year. there are 25 boys here already and the squad will be a maximum of 22 (maybe less) with another 40 students coming next week who will want to try-out, as well.
you can see i'm still in nearly fulltime soccer dad status. although the boys, i think, feel it's getting time for me to move on to get back to my own life. (little do they know that i can sit with a book and watch them endlessly... wait til they are parents...) there's a mother here from atlanta, but she's the only other unambigously cloying parent who lingered to watch their kids on the pitch...
so, tomorrow, i'll get the boys some more bananas and vitamin water in the morning, make some phone calls, then i've booked a 1:30 pm kayak trip on the deerfield river. the weather's been beautiful the past couple of days and i want to get back on water, after our canoeing in maine two weeks ago. i love being on the water with a paddle!
then, i'll check w/ bruce, as he wanted to go out on his motor boat on monday. if so, i'll spend sunday to tuesday at bruce's, then come back here early on wednesday morning, then friday returning late at bruce's before getting up at 4 am to go to the airport early on saturday. it's all a bit of a juggle.
bottom line: it's strange living this biforcated life b/n kathmandu and america. i'm enjoying it, sans doubt, but, at times, it seems odd having these two completely separate worlds ten thousand miles apart. i suppose that is exactly what joshua felt so intensely and painfully last year when he was here for months at a time all by himself. nepal began to feel so far away and distant for him, even though that was the only world he had known his whole life. there's nothing really to quite prepare oneself for the unexpected yet undeniable attenuation of one's emotions.
kathmandu, of course, remains home w/ our own beloved house, garden and friends; while america contains friends from multiple past lives, my family and, not least, our sons.
so, riddle me this??!!?
anyway, anicca, impermanence and all that sctuff. it's mental imagery that smacks right into the emotional realities. 'two lives' was the title of vickram seth's family history about his indian uncle and german-jewish wife living in london. maybe vickram was talking of his own double cultural life, or ours, as well...
still, i must admit i find pleasure in wandering around the states. those famous smooth american roads, lush forests and aisles of olives in the neighborhood supermarkets. where are you garcia lorca and walt whitman?
today, i found a lovely town, shelbourne falls, off the deerfield river on route 2 west, what they call the mohawk trail. there was a sign that explained that the mohawk and penobscot indians signed an agreement in the early 18th century to keep the waterfalls and forests for one day's journey around shelbourne falls free from violence. what a lovely thought. this is pure and delicious small town americana in the summertime.
frankly, on these days, i don't miss the traffic jams, visual pollution, struggle for petrol or the stench of politics that stifle the normal joys of daily life in kathmandu... why?
but, with shakun and ms. leah there, along w/ our precious botanical garden, gita, gumbi, lapsi, the mountains in the backyard, the endless complex political situation and our circle of very dear friends, it's getting time to head home.
so, adieu, josh and ez, soon enough, at the end of next week, this american boy (the name of this week's hit song by kanye west) is back to the himalaya,
one more time.
the boys are ok, but wickedly tired. suraj is hanging w/ the other kids outside on the front porch while ez is up in the room on his back resting his vulnerable ankle and josh is relaxing by playing his soccer computer game.
to say the least, the soccer coaches have been working the kids mercilessly at this four day varsity try-out. constant running, sit-ups and push-ups. they've had about six-seven hours of training a day in 1.5 or 3 hour sessions under the heat of the sun. there have been a few scrimmages with lots of drills and work-outs.
even suraj says, 'it's crazy, man. these americans love their fitness. we had nothing like this in nepal.'
the intensity of the try-out is so severe, watching them, i wonder if all three will make the varsity team this year. there are 25 boys here already and the squad will be a maximum of 22 (maybe less) with another 40 students coming next week who will want to try-out, as well.
you can see i'm still in nearly fulltime soccer dad status. although the boys, i think, feel it's getting time for me to move on to get back to my own life. (little do they know that i can sit with a book and watch them endlessly... wait til they are parents...) there's a mother here from atlanta, but she's the only other unambigously cloying parent who lingered to watch their kids on the pitch...
so, tomorrow, i'll get the boys some more bananas and vitamin water in the morning, make some phone calls, then i've booked a 1:30 pm kayak trip on the deerfield river. the weather's been beautiful the past couple of days and i want to get back on water, after our canoeing in maine two weeks ago. i love being on the water with a paddle!
then, i'll check w/ bruce, as he wanted to go out on his motor boat on monday. if so, i'll spend sunday to tuesday at bruce's, then come back here early on wednesday morning, then friday returning late at bruce's before getting up at 4 am to go to the airport early on saturday. it's all a bit of a juggle.
bottom line: it's strange living this biforcated life b/n kathmandu and america. i'm enjoying it, sans doubt, but, at times, it seems odd having these two completely separate worlds ten thousand miles apart. i suppose that is exactly what joshua felt so intensely and painfully last year when he was here for months at a time all by himself. nepal began to feel so far away and distant for him, even though that was the only world he had known his whole life. there's nothing really to quite prepare oneself for the unexpected yet undeniable attenuation of one's emotions.
kathmandu, of course, remains home w/ our own beloved house, garden and friends; while america contains friends from multiple past lives, my family and, not least, our sons.
so, riddle me this??!!?
anyway, anicca, impermanence and all that sctuff. it's mental imagery that smacks right into the emotional realities. 'two lives' was the title of vickram seth's family history about his indian uncle and german-jewish wife living in london. maybe vickram was talking of his own double cultural life, or ours, as well...
still, i must admit i find pleasure in wandering around the states. those famous smooth american roads, lush forests and aisles of olives in the neighborhood supermarkets. where are you garcia lorca and walt whitman?
today, i found a lovely town, shelbourne falls, off the deerfield river on route 2 west, what they call the mohawk trail. there was a sign that explained that the mohawk and penobscot indians signed an agreement in the early 18th century to keep the waterfalls and forests for one day's journey around shelbourne falls free from violence. what a lovely thought. this is pure and delicious small town americana in the summertime.
frankly, on these days, i don't miss the traffic jams, visual pollution, struggle for petrol or the stench of politics that stifle the normal joys of daily life in kathmandu... why?
but, with shakun and ms. leah there, along w/ our precious botanical garden, gita, gumbi, lapsi, the mountains in the backyard, the endless complex political situation and our circle of very dear friends, it's getting time to head home.
so, adieu, josh and ez, soon enough, at the end of next week, this american boy (the name of this week's hit song by kanye west) is back to the himalaya,
one more time.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Thorns in the Garden
there there's another topic that has been on my summer itinerary, as well: raising sonz. with all of the joy and good times, there have been the occasional thorns in the garden.
just last night and this morning, i received the gift of cold eyes from my beloved sons when i tried to say that midnight was time to go to sleep, as there's alot to do tomorrow (today). then this morning, again, when i pointed out that there is serious reading yet to do for their school which starts in a week.
i'm sure that there are gentler ways of expressing these parental concerns. like many parents, i guess, i can be a bit of 'a bull in the china shop' with less than subtle communication with my children.
even then i'm not sure the boyz wud cut me much slack. they're so big, smart, adolescent and testosteroned that this may simply be a fact of life: boys need to rebel and establish their independence or dominance from their fathers.
i think shaku does it gentler or, possibly, there's that affectionate, childhood bond w/ our mothers that rides through these rough waves easier. sons and mothers is a different universe, it seems, than fathers and sons. just ask d.h. lawrence, for example. maybe mums are better able to express their nuturing nature when encouraging the boys or the separation from one's father is a different process. maybe i need to be a bit more observant and thoughtful when trying to direct the boys.
or stop trying to direct them and, as josh said this morning, simply let them fail. something we read yesterday was all about failure being the best teacher. g-d knows where it was, but i think it was something samuel beckett said about the fact that w/o failure there ain't no thing like success and w/o knowing where the bottom lies, you'll never find your way up -- or, something like that...
but, as others know, sometimes the parenting role is not always fun and one's left feeling sore after the encounters as the love is displaced and the frustration grows (on both sidez). as our adored children head into the rough and inspiring waters of teenager maturation, they do get harder to 'stage manage' and it's not always easy to simply let them float when we see the rapids ahead.
although smile stage left, our parentz went through the same (or more, maybe much more...) with us, no?
the boyz need space and time to become themselves while we parents represent domestic authority that they aren't interested in nor willing to easily accept. they are well on their way to becoming young men already at 17 and 16.
what's paul newman's classic line in 'road to perdition'? 'sons are put on this earth to torment their fathers.'
yet, the house is quiet now (we're at bruce's still...) while i hope they are reading, as we discussed. they each have their assigned reading. josh has a novel on post-vietnam. ez has two substantial books ('all the kings men', the huey long novel, and a national book award winner on the american civil rights movement in detroit, 'arc of justice') with a short paper. these need to be finished within the next ten dayz, plus they both have their varsity football camp/try-outs which begin tomorrow at nmh and continue through next week, as well as moving into school.
everything at nmh will be new for ezi and his friend, suraj, who joined us from nepal the other night for his first experience out of south asia!
vat's a father to say? when these boys are good, they're very good; when they're truculent, they're very resistent. the affection gets suppressed and the feeling of being a burden on their lives more acute -- while, of course, serving as the atm machine for their lives...
as my dear, wise friend scott said a decade ago, 'little kids; little problems. big kids; big problems.' but it's all resolveable, i believe, as long as i step away from the confrontations and try (forever try...) to not engage with my own personal frustration.
the ego battles are a large part of this, so best to avoid it all the time, at all costs, as much as possible. no 'egoizing' as they say in one of the property-less utopian worlds presented in 'the dispossessed'. or, just keep the ego under control. 'anicca', non-attachment, as the buddhists advise.
or, more poignantly, as dear george sang so exquisitely when we were young, 'all things must pass'...
or, one more, blood, sweat and tears, singing, 'god bless the child who's got his own'...
these kidz definitely got their own!! ;-)
just last night and this morning, i received the gift of cold eyes from my beloved sons when i tried to say that midnight was time to go to sleep, as there's alot to do tomorrow (today). then this morning, again, when i pointed out that there is serious reading yet to do for their school which starts in a week.
i'm sure that there are gentler ways of expressing these parental concerns. like many parents, i guess, i can be a bit of 'a bull in the china shop' with less than subtle communication with my children.
even then i'm not sure the boyz wud cut me much slack. they're so big, smart, adolescent and testosteroned that this may simply be a fact of life: boys need to rebel and establish their independence or dominance from their fathers.
i think shaku does it gentler or, possibly, there's that affectionate, childhood bond w/ our mothers that rides through these rough waves easier. sons and mothers is a different universe, it seems, than fathers and sons. just ask d.h. lawrence, for example. maybe mums are better able to express their nuturing nature when encouraging the boys or the separation from one's father is a different process. maybe i need to be a bit more observant and thoughtful when trying to direct the boys.
or stop trying to direct them and, as josh said this morning, simply let them fail. something we read yesterday was all about failure being the best teacher. g-d knows where it was, but i think it was something samuel beckett said about the fact that w/o failure there ain't no thing like success and w/o knowing where the bottom lies, you'll never find your way up -- or, something like that...
but, as others know, sometimes the parenting role is not always fun and one's left feeling sore after the encounters as the love is displaced and the frustration grows (on both sidez). as our adored children head into the rough and inspiring waters of teenager maturation, they do get harder to 'stage manage' and it's not always easy to simply let them float when we see the rapids ahead.
although smile stage left, our parentz went through the same (or more, maybe much more...) with us, no?
the boyz need space and time to become themselves while we parents represent domestic authority that they aren't interested in nor willing to easily accept. they are well on their way to becoming young men already at 17 and 16.
what's paul newman's classic line in 'road to perdition'? 'sons are put on this earth to torment their fathers.'
yet, the house is quiet now (we're at bruce's still...) while i hope they are reading, as we discussed. they each have their assigned reading. josh has a novel on post-vietnam. ez has two substantial books ('all the kings men', the huey long novel, and a national book award winner on the american civil rights movement in detroit, 'arc of justice') with a short paper. these need to be finished within the next ten dayz, plus they both have their varsity football camp/try-outs which begin tomorrow at nmh and continue through next week, as well as moving into school.
everything at nmh will be new for ezi and his friend, suraj, who joined us from nepal the other night for his first experience out of south asia!
vat's a father to say? when these boys are good, they're very good; when they're truculent, they're very resistent. the affection gets suppressed and the feeling of being a burden on their lives more acute -- while, of course, serving as the atm machine for their lives...
as my dear, wise friend scott said a decade ago, 'little kids; little problems. big kids; big problems.' but it's all resolveable, i believe, as long as i step away from the confrontations and try (forever try...) to not engage with my own personal frustration.
the ego battles are a large part of this, so best to avoid it all the time, at all costs, as much as possible. no 'egoizing' as they say in one of the property-less utopian worlds presented in 'the dispossessed'. or, just keep the ego under control. 'anicca', non-attachment, as the buddhists advise.
or, more poignantly, as dear george sang so exquisitely when we were young, 'all things must pass'...
or, one more, blood, sweat and tears, singing, 'god bless the child who's got his own'...
these kidz definitely got their own!! ;-)
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Time, Fidelity and Suffering
Isn't there often something about science fiction that always speaks to our world today?
Isn't that the point? open up the mind with the sense that we're talking about someplace far away in time & distance...
Then, gotcha!, the emotions or sentiments or understanding hits us like a 108% proof martini on a rainy, fragile friday night.
Like our dear little leah, princess lea, the star child, born in 2001 --
To pry open her parents' perceptions when their synapses are beginning to slow down,
Reminding us, again and again, of the beauty of nature, the gift of being alive and
The profound, elemental earthiness of being connected in this transient moment
Together.
-------------------------------------------------
"For after all, he thought now, lying in the warmth of Takver's sleep, it was joy they were both after -- the completeness of being. If you evade suffering you also evade the chance of joy. Pleasure you may get, or pleasures, but you will not be fulfilled. You will not know what it is to come home.
"Takver sighed softly in her sleep, as if agreeing with him, and turned over, pursuing some quiet dream.
"Fulfillment, Shevek thought, is a function of time. The search for pleasure is circular, repetitive, atemporal. the variety seeking of the spectator, the thrill hunter, the sexually promiscuous, always ends in the same place. It has an end. It comes to the end and has to start over. It is not a journey and return, but a closed cycle, a locked room, a cell.
"Outside the locked room is the lanscape of time, in which the spirit may, with luck and courage, construct the fragile, makeshift, improbable roads and cities of fidelity: a landscape inhabitable by human beings.
"It is not until an act occurs with the landscape of the past and the future that it is an human act. Loyalty, which asserts the continuity of past and future, binding time into a whole, is the root of human strength; there is not good to be done without it.
"So, looking back on the last four years, Shevek saw them not as wasted, but as part of the edifice that he and Takver were building with their lives. The thing about working with time, instead of against it, he thought, is that it is not wasted.
"Even pain counts."
The Dispossessed
Ursula K. LeGuin
1974
Isn't that the point? open up the mind with the sense that we're talking about someplace far away in time & distance...
Then, gotcha!, the emotions or sentiments or understanding hits us like a 108% proof martini on a rainy, fragile friday night.
Like our dear little leah, princess lea, the star child, born in 2001 --
To pry open her parents' perceptions when their synapses are beginning to slow down,
Reminding us, again and again, of the beauty of nature, the gift of being alive and
The profound, elemental earthiness of being connected in this transient moment
Together.
-------------------------------------------------
"For after all, he thought now, lying in the warmth of Takver's sleep, it was joy they were both after -- the completeness of being. If you evade suffering you also evade the chance of joy. Pleasure you may get, or pleasures, but you will not be fulfilled. You will not know what it is to come home.
"Takver sighed softly in her sleep, as if agreeing with him, and turned over, pursuing some quiet dream.
"Fulfillment, Shevek thought, is a function of time. The search for pleasure is circular, repetitive, atemporal. the variety seeking of the spectator, the thrill hunter, the sexually promiscuous, always ends in the same place. It has an end. It comes to the end and has to start over. It is not a journey and return, but a closed cycle, a locked room, a cell.
"Outside the locked room is the lanscape of time, in which the spirit may, with luck and courage, construct the fragile, makeshift, improbable roads and cities of fidelity: a landscape inhabitable by human beings.
"It is not until an act occurs with the landscape of the past and the future that it is an human act. Loyalty, which asserts the continuity of past and future, binding time into a whole, is the root of human strength; there is not good to be done without it.
"So, looking back on the last four years, Shevek saw them not as wasted, but as part of the edifice that he and Takver were building with their lives. The thing about working with time, instead of against it, he thought, is that it is not wasted.
"Even pain counts."
The Dispossessed
Ursula K. LeGuin
1974
Friday, August 15, 2008
West (and East) Side Story...
If the numbers of Nepalis who have left, are leaving and plan to leave for the US is any indication, the world outside of the States is literally pouring in for the opportunities, independence and economic possibilities that they see here. Of course, as always, some are exceptionally fortunate, while others end up at gas stations paid by the hour.
For those who may not have read it, "The Inheritance of Loss", by Kiran Desain, last year's Booker Prize winner, beautifully, painfully and poetically describes this socio-cultural turmoil of our times, particularly within the South Asian context.
Behind every number is a story...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Generation, Minorities May Be the U.S. Majority
By SAM ROBERTS
Published: August 13, 2008, NYTimes
Ethnic and racial minorities will comprise a majority of the nation’s population in a little more than a generation, according to new Census Bureau projections.
The census calculates that by 2042, Americans who identify themselves as Hispanic, black, Asian, American Indian, Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander will together outnumber non-Hispanic whites. Four years ago, officials had projected the shift would come in 2050.
The main reason for the accelerating change is significantly higher birthrates among immigrants. Another factor is the influx of foreigners, rising from about 1.3 million annually today to more than 2 million a year by mid-century, according to projections based on current immigration policies.
“No other country has experienced such rapid racial and ethnic change,” said Mark Mather, a demographer with the Population Reference Bureau, a research organization in Washington.
“A momentum is built into this as a result of past immigration,” said Jeffrey S. Passel, senior demographer at the Pew Hispanic Center. “Almost regardless of what you assume about future immigration, the country will be more Hispanic and Asian.”
With the Census Bureau forecasting even more immigrants, other demographers estimate that the proportion of foreign-born Americans, now about 12 percent, could surpass the 1910 historic high of nearly 15 percent by about 2025 and may
approach 20 percent in 2050.
According to the new forecast, by 2050, the number of Hispanic people will nearly triple, to 133 million from 47 million, to account for 30 percent of Americans, compared with 15 percent today. Asians, with their ranks soaring to 41 million from 16 million, will make up more than 9 percent of the population -- up from 5 percent.
More than three times as many people are expected to identify themselves as multiracial — 16 million, accounting for nearly 4 percent of the population.
“What’s happening now in terms of increasing diversity probably is unprecedented,” said Campbell Gibson, a retired census demographer.
For those who may not have read it, "The Inheritance of Loss", by Kiran Desain, last year's Booker Prize winner, beautifully, painfully and poetically describes this socio-cultural turmoil of our times, particularly within the South Asian context.
Behind every number is a story...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Generation, Minorities May Be the U.S. Majority
By SAM ROBERTS
Published: August 13, 2008, NYTimes
Ethnic and racial minorities will comprise a majority of the nation’s population in a little more than a generation, according to new Census Bureau projections.
The census calculates that by 2042, Americans who identify themselves as Hispanic, black, Asian, American Indian, Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander will together outnumber non-Hispanic whites. Four years ago, officials had projected the shift would come in 2050.
The main reason for the accelerating change is significantly higher birthrates among immigrants. Another factor is the influx of foreigners, rising from about 1.3 million annually today to more than 2 million a year by mid-century, according to projections based on current immigration policies.
“No other country has experienced such rapid racial and ethnic change,” said Mark Mather, a demographer with the Population Reference Bureau, a research organization in Washington.
“A momentum is built into this as a result of past immigration,” said Jeffrey S. Passel, senior demographer at the Pew Hispanic Center. “Almost regardless of what you assume about future immigration, the country will be more Hispanic and Asian.”
With the Census Bureau forecasting even more immigrants, other demographers estimate that the proportion of foreign-born Americans, now about 12 percent, could surpass the 1910 historic high of nearly 15 percent by about 2025 and may
approach 20 percent in 2050.
According to the new forecast, by 2050, the number of Hispanic people will nearly triple, to 133 million from 47 million, to account for 30 percent of Americans, compared with 15 percent today. Asians, with their ranks soaring to 41 million from 16 million, will make up more than 9 percent of the population -- up from 5 percent.
More than three times as many people are expected to identify themselves as multiracial — 16 million, accounting for nearly 4 percent of the population.
“What’s happening now in terms of increasing diversity probably is unprecedented,” said Campbell Gibson, a retired census demographer.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Kahlil Gibran: On Children
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Summer Joys & Separation Anxiety
and so it goes...
a springtime of planning for a summer full of time together among the family and with friends begins to dissipate in mid-august as shaku and ms. leah head for home in nepal tomorrow early on a united jet first to sf, then tokyo, then bangkok and the following morning on to kathmandu.
once again, we wonder, where does the time go?
from the fabulous time between two families w/ the ellenbergs in oregon to settling in the bay area for ten days to our time in maine to the comfort of bruce's home in newton, five weeks in america have gently slipped away, again...
we drove down rte 5 from portland loading the kia again w/ our bags and baby doug firs whisking through the landscape to a funky hotel/guesthouse in dunmair, ca with a view of mt. shasta. the boys took the hotel room and sent us out to the 1930s "it happened one night' cabin above the sacremento river. the door didn't lock while the frig was out on the back porch and the whole cabin tilted like a bit of a push would send it downstream. if not for the highway nearby, it wud have been a quaint bit of peaceful americana. as it is, we found a thai restaurant for dinner and gorged on ersatz thai in a town where the 19th c. gold rush railway used to ply.
then, the next day, narrowly avoiding one of those highway disasters that constantly lurks at 70 mph as we sought the marin county exit, we traversed the bay area flats in search of pizza and food supplies in larkspur before searching for our one week bolinas rental.
as we turned up from mill valley to highway one up and over mt. tamalpais with the ocean below us and the stinson beach ahead, we felt, once more, the beauty of northern california. driving carefully on the narrow highway, we passed a jaguar on its side blocking half of the highway. it had driven against hillside, flipped sideways with no major damage, but like the proverbial turtle couldn't right itself.
as we drove up to bolinas, the fresh air and open countryside were powerfully attractive. bolinas is a small town, at best, on a bluff overlooking the pacific ocean directly below point reyes national seashore and looking back on stinson beach. it's an incredible location, suffering summer fog that blankets the coast, but far from the trappings of modern suburbia and mall-mania. with individualistic homes, there's a warm, relaxed ambience about the place.
our house was a bit of a nantucket shingle home with just enough space for all of us, a big yard and a hot tub in the back. after our weeks of travel, it felt great to have our own home, where we could cook and relax.
we chose bolinas for its close proximity to the bay area, so we were fortunate to have davis come our first day, with greg, chimi and their daughter, leah's best friend from early childhood, khenzom and her brother. then, seth & vicki came with ethan and shari for a day out at stinson where, to our amazement, we ran into eduardo and helena on the street then charles and pam on the beach!
days in bolinas disappeared with friend, including a great dinner in san rafael with eduardo and helena, a day trip to pt reyes w/ charles and pam, a visit to elliot's home in occidental and lance driving up to have dinner w/ us in bolinas. the week could have stretched to two easily as i fell for this bucolic place.
we closed our california chapter with a few days at steve and betty's in oakland which included a bbq at seth and vicki's with our bay area friends. there's such a lovely community there among whom we feel a close attachment. as usual, we left with dreams of california for the future while ez played joni singing 'california' one more time on the ipod...
since we slept little the night before heading to the airport at 5 am, we slept across the country waking to land in boston, where we picked up a new mini-suv for ourselves and bags and drove 2-3 hours up to bath, maine. once again, we felt fortunate in the cottage we'd found on the internet. an 1890s cabin by the water with a canoe, we tossed our stuff in the home under the grey skies.
although the weather was unkind, maine wasn't. we had a lovely week with mom and dad, who came up from florida. just meandering around the maritime museum, the coastline, the new boothbay botanic garden, bowdoin university.
my dear friend, alma, who i hadn't seen in decades took the leslie-chans out to a special dinner at an old village meeting hall in georgetown with her family. we stopped at her and jennings lovely home in freeport a day later. then, a final day with jeff and maggie in york at their exquisite home (and guesthouse) was the final treat before reaching my brother bruce's home outside boston.
with five of us together, it was quite a show along the way. mostly great fun, although at times those moments of family tension or too many people in an suv for too many hours, crept in for some drama. josh and ez, bless their souls, were mostly patient with their parents as we bundled them along to see our friends. of course, father-son teenage revolt was part of the story -- but where else would they have met so many delightful, loving and fascinating people, not to mention have dave and lisa, eduardo, seth, jeff and jerry cook them such exquisite meals!
so now, with shaku & leah off 2morrow, we feel the enormous tug of the heart. they head to nepal, the boys go to nmh in a week and in two weeks (after they are enrolled), i head back to kathmandu, too. we are coping, as everyone else has learned to cope, but, as others know, it ain't easy. our family will be spit in two parts. josh and ez in the states, while we three are in nepal. for the boys its a new adventure to be together in america for the first time sans parents. for us, tremendous pride in these remarkable sons with their futures ahead of them; yet an undeniable loss of their presences in our daily lives.
this international life suddenly seems more complex and uncertain than ever before. even a maoist insurgency never quite seemed as precarious as the separation anxiety that goes with seeing our sons so grown up.
these children fooled us along the way. we thought that they were ours. little did we really understand...
a springtime of planning for a summer full of time together among the family and with friends begins to dissipate in mid-august as shaku and ms. leah head for home in nepal tomorrow early on a united jet first to sf, then tokyo, then bangkok and the following morning on to kathmandu.
once again, we wonder, where does the time go?
from the fabulous time between two families w/ the ellenbergs in oregon to settling in the bay area for ten days to our time in maine to the comfort of bruce's home in newton, five weeks in america have gently slipped away, again...
we drove down rte 5 from portland loading the kia again w/ our bags and baby doug firs whisking through the landscape to a funky hotel/guesthouse in dunmair, ca with a view of mt. shasta. the boys took the hotel room and sent us out to the 1930s "it happened one night' cabin above the sacremento river. the door didn't lock while the frig was out on the back porch and the whole cabin tilted like a bit of a push would send it downstream. if not for the highway nearby, it wud have been a quaint bit of peaceful americana. as it is, we found a thai restaurant for dinner and gorged on ersatz thai in a town where the 19th c. gold rush railway used to ply.
then, the next day, narrowly avoiding one of those highway disasters that constantly lurks at 70 mph as we sought the marin county exit, we traversed the bay area flats in search of pizza and food supplies in larkspur before searching for our one week bolinas rental.
as we turned up from mill valley to highway one up and over mt. tamalpais with the ocean below us and the stinson beach ahead, we felt, once more, the beauty of northern california. driving carefully on the narrow highway, we passed a jaguar on its side blocking half of the highway. it had driven against hillside, flipped sideways with no major damage, but like the proverbial turtle couldn't right itself.
as we drove up to bolinas, the fresh air and open countryside were powerfully attractive. bolinas is a small town, at best, on a bluff overlooking the pacific ocean directly below point reyes national seashore and looking back on stinson beach. it's an incredible location, suffering summer fog that blankets the coast, but far from the trappings of modern suburbia and mall-mania. with individualistic homes, there's a warm, relaxed ambience about the place.
our house was a bit of a nantucket shingle home with just enough space for all of us, a big yard and a hot tub in the back. after our weeks of travel, it felt great to have our own home, where we could cook and relax.
we chose bolinas for its close proximity to the bay area, so we were fortunate to have davis come our first day, with greg, chimi and their daughter, leah's best friend from early childhood, khenzom and her brother. then, seth & vicki came with ethan and shari for a day out at stinson where, to our amazement, we ran into eduardo and helena on the street then charles and pam on the beach!
days in bolinas disappeared with friend, including a great dinner in san rafael with eduardo and helena, a day trip to pt reyes w/ charles and pam, a visit to elliot's home in occidental and lance driving up to have dinner w/ us in bolinas. the week could have stretched to two easily as i fell for this bucolic place.
we closed our california chapter with a few days at steve and betty's in oakland which included a bbq at seth and vicki's with our bay area friends. there's such a lovely community there among whom we feel a close attachment. as usual, we left with dreams of california for the future while ez played joni singing 'california' one more time on the ipod...
since we slept little the night before heading to the airport at 5 am, we slept across the country waking to land in boston, where we picked up a new mini-suv for ourselves and bags and drove 2-3 hours up to bath, maine. once again, we felt fortunate in the cottage we'd found on the internet. an 1890s cabin by the water with a canoe, we tossed our stuff in the home under the grey skies.
although the weather was unkind, maine wasn't. we had a lovely week with mom and dad, who came up from florida. just meandering around the maritime museum, the coastline, the new boothbay botanic garden, bowdoin university.
my dear friend, alma, who i hadn't seen in decades took the leslie-chans out to a special dinner at an old village meeting hall in georgetown with her family. we stopped at her and jennings lovely home in freeport a day later. then, a final day with jeff and maggie in york at their exquisite home (and guesthouse) was the final treat before reaching my brother bruce's home outside boston.
with five of us together, it was quite a show along the way. mostly great fun, although at times those moments of family tension or too many people in an suv for too many hours, crept in for some drama. josh and ez, bless their souls, were mostly patient with their parents as we bundled them along to see our friends. of course, father-son teenage revolt was part of the story -- but where else would they have met so many delightful, loving and fascinating people, not to mention have dave and lisa, eduardo, seth, jeff and jerry cook them such exquisite meals!
so now, with shaku & leah off 2morrow, we feel the enormous tug of the heart. they head to nepal, the boys go to nmh in a week and in two weeks (after they are enrolled), i head back to kathmandu, too. we are coping, as everyone else has learned to cope, but, as others know, it ain't easy. our family will be spit in two parts. josh and ez in the states, while we three are in nepal. for the boys its a new adventure to be together in america for the first time sans parents. for us, tremendous pride in these remarkable sons with their futures ahead of them; yet an undeniable loss of their presences in our daily lives.
this international life suddenly seems more complex and uncertain than ever before. even a maoist insurgency never quite seemed as precarious as the separation anxiety that goes with seeing our sons so grown up.
these children fooled us along the way. we thought that they were ours. little did we really understand...
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Memories of Lovely Time with the Ellenbergs in Oregon
"Images of seeing someone on email anytime I passed through the kitchen or living areas for 10 days linger...
Along with dearest Shakun gliding around the kitchen cooking with her shawl on, or keeping warmer on the beach with her shawl on, or picking out the flattest and smoothest of rocks with her shawl comfortably wrapped about her.
Echoes of family debate time, too, linger and rest gently on my mind. Leah and Iris beading with Lisa, digging and damming on the beach, and reading stories are pictures too sweet for words.
Shmoozing about our lives and the world at large are times I always cherish.
And the dessert course at Andina will be long remembered -- though I've already forgotten the 3 flavors of creme broule I received."
Dave's Impressions of the Leslie-chans at Arch Cape and at home in Portland
Along with dearest Shakun gliding around the kitchen cooking with her shawl on, or keeping warmer on the beach with her shawl on, or picking out the flattest and smoothest of rocks with her shawl comfortably wrapped about her.
Echoes of family debate time, too, linger and rest gently on my mind. Leah and Iris beading with Lisa, digging and damming on the beach, and reading stories are pictures too sweet for words.
Shmoozing about our lives and the world at large are times I always cherish.
And the dessert course at Andina will be long remembered -- though I've already forgotten the 3 flavors of creme broule I received."
Dave's Impressions of the Leslie-chans at Arch Cape and at home in Portland
Friday, August 1, 2008
Soap and Education
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre. but they are more deadly in the long run.
Mark Twain
Mark Twain
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