In Memoriam A.H.H.

Are God and Nature then at strife,
That Nature lends such evil dreams?
So careful of the type she seems,
So careless of the single life;

That I, considering everywhere
Her secret meaning in her deeds,
And finding that of fifty seeds
She often brings but one to bear,

I falter where I firmly trod,
And falling with my weight of cares
Upon the great world's altar-stairs
That slope thro' darkness up to God,

I stretch lame hands of faith, and grope,
And gather dust and chaff, and call
To what I feel is Lord of all,
And faintly trust the larger hope

Lord Tennyson, 1849

Shana Tova 5769

Shakun, Ms. Leah and I came in from celebrating the Jewish New Year on Friday night w/ the Israelis in Kathmandu, a contingent of 300+ young people, mostly traveling through Nepal, at one of the city's ubiquitous 'party palaces', this one right behind now deserted Royal Palace.

These party palaces are usually the locations of Nepali Hindu weddings, pasnis (six month of birth), bratabandha (sacred thread for boys) or similar quasi-religious celebrations. They've become a feature of modern Kathmandu life, in lieu of more expensive hotels, where they cater mass 'fooding' (as they say...) to hundreds or thousands of family, friends and acquaintances for such evocative life events

I doubt, however, that many bar mitzvahs, Pesach seders or Rosh Hashonah celebrations have rattled these walls, much less seen bearded, impish Reb Kresky once again up on his make-shift chair singing to his heart's delight, black suit & black hat swaying to his own tune, to usher in the joyful fragrance of a new year.

Once again, the ecumenical and syncrenistic tendencies of sacred Nepal bridge even the deep cultural Jewish divide between a grandchild of the Ethical Cultural Society of the Upper West Side with the generations of European, now Brooklyn, mystical Hassidic culture. What the East River divides, Kathmandu can unite! Proving, once again, in the words of the ancient prophetic voice that even the secular can lie down with the religious on such peaceful and thankful occasions as the blessing of a new year.

We always enjoy these festivities with our dear friends, Reb Kresky and Chani, the Chabad rabbi & his wife. They are dear and pure souls. After all, Chani was the woman who first taught Joshua and Ezra their struggilng, inchoate Hebrew years ago for their bar mitzvahs in Haifa. In truth, she's a modern boddhisattva rebetzin (rabbi's wife), always full of joy, kindness and single-mindedness. Even when her best friend, the rabbi's wife, was murdered in Mumbai last year, she never lost her love for g-d, her family and the gifts of life. The spirit indomitable.

So we sat at the long table covered with plates of humus, challah bread, honey, pomegranate and salads with vivacious young Jews of all varieties. The ancient tribal identity singing in the sweetness of the year 5769. Of course, it's just a number, but it does offer some wizened and, hopefully, wise perspective on our sense of our selves and lives in this transient, fleeting, curious and miraculous world.

It seems that there is part of that Jewish identity which always looks back to find one's way forward. The ancient historical-theological imagination and pride. The grounding of the spiritual dimension in the daily reality of our lives. The silent, rapturous, yet cacaphoneous inner voice of G-d reflected in all of our thoughts and actions. More mystery compounded, I suppose.

Although, for me, these centuries offer too much precious and hard-earned cultural history to let go of easily after so many scores of nearly forgotten generations. A lasting gift and debt to my loved and respected parents and grandparents, who toiled long for our gifts in this world.

A gift and debt, as well, to my beloved children, whose lives are still being formed in the raw earth and spiritual values around them, and to whom we will leave this fluttering and uncertain world one day.

And on it goes, our human circle game with an artifice of numbers given to mark each cycle around the sun. Numbers that anchor us in all of the haze and mystery of existence.

An understandable human effort to provide some logical perspective on the immense twirling beauty of the planets as we make our way through space and time amid the riches and tragedies of our own history in the making.

So with Shakun and Leah by my sides, Josh and Ez on my proverbial shoulders, I am reminded once again of what a lovely circle game it is...

Don't Defer One's Dreams...

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun,

Or fester like a sore, and then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat,

Or crust and sugar over like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags like a heavy load,

Or does it explode?

Langston Hughes 

20th C. American Poet

The Unforgiving Road

those characters
who travelled with us frequently
while the first kind dropped off the path
without so much as a whispered farewell

and beyond these were the multitudes
in the many lands, the shadows on the cobblestones

but we had not come to know them in such a way
those spirits through which we flitted
our eyes shyly averted
lest they draw us into their world
and in doing so save us from ourselves

this we could not bear
yet we knew this journey would end ere long
if we remained on the unforgiving road

meanwhile across the shimmering valley
of each new kingdom
beyond the morning hills
written in the fingers of haze
that promised a glimpse of our destiny
we smiled, gazing once more backwards

dreaming that you would hear from us no more
and you would be gladly abandoned
to stumble... on your own journey
to the far off land
as it has always been
and will be
forever more

God be with you!

Lorenzo Rajah 

Portuguese traveler in Asia, 1697

Ezra Settles back to NMH

"Well, I guess this is the first of my sporadic, albeit lengthy, emails to you guys over the course of the year (and as much as i know you enjoy my manner of communication I see no signs that I will change...although I will try...).

Life here at NMH doesn't really change, the faces change, the interactions might change, but it's still me heading off to classes, getting a bunch of errands done (to what end, who knows?) -- but they are errands that must be done nonetheless. 

Freshman orientation was great, I loved it!  The kids are great and it really was wonderful to be a part of the beginning of their high school journey and possibly even their adult life.  It's just so much fun to see that they're at a stage that they haven't even realized that they've reached -- I would look out at them and wonder if any one of them could recognize what a journey they have begun.  Chances are none of them have, but I guess that's the beauty -- since then it has just gotten better and better; putting them to bed, tucking them in, being a part of that young energy.

As with everything, there are always ups and downs, but it's all part and parcel in life so if you expect anything else, you'll be bound to being disappointed.  Classes are going well.  I'm in AP Env. Science, Biblical Interpretation, and Calculus.  Lets see how they go.  It's still way too early to tell what they'll be like, but as soon as I know I'll tell you ;).

Soccer is also going okay, not brilliant, but okay.  I think I have made the varsity team, but just barely -- they have a bunch of recruits so the team should be pretty good, but I still have yet to reach anywhere near my potential.  I actually sprained my ankle again yesterday, which is why I had the time to write this email now.  So I'm out for today and hopefully I'll be back tomorrow or on Saturday.  It's not a bad sprain, but it's best to err on the safe side of caution.

Other than that, I really have been out of the loop, being in freshman dorm is great, but the first couple of days/weeks are extremely busy and hectic because you are helping them get used to things and making sure they are all happy.  My room isn't completely setup, but it's getting there.  I'll probably buy a second pair of sheets so that I can have a double bed, and then as I told you guys I want to get some vegetation in here.

Mom you sound like your galavanting the political world of Nepal and doing all that you wanted so that sounds great just remember that happiness (and truth) begin and end from home. 

Dad your pictures are always wonderful to see and after all pictures tell a thousand words, so just make sure that you don't spend too much time commiserating with your sons across the pond: we're fine and before you know it we'll be seeing each other soon...

and Leah i hope you are painting your soul out....

lots and lots of love, ezi"

Josh Settles in at Georgetown

"College life on the hilltop has been exciting as I am meeting new people, going through orientation, meeting new people, finally starting classes, and, again, meeting new people, I know a bit tiring.  Yet, the fact is that everyday seems to be an adventure; whether it's walking all the way to White House or going to the DC United game and getting to meet and take a picture with Freddie Ljunberg, a famous Swedish football player whom I have watched ever since I began watching football.  This opulent city seems to have so much potential for inspiration and instilling a sense of direction that I already feel as if I can call it my muse, and if any of you pass through my city, yes I am taking it over, please do call because I would love to see you all."

Josh during his first week at college...