after the long miracle and discomfort of air travel, i've arrived in body, if not fully in spirit, on the native shores of north america. from the sky the world looks so peaceful, calm, soothing.
of course, sitting in steerage for 20+ hours from kathmandu to boston is a slightly different and aching experience. still, the travel is remarkable, astounding even, to slip so easily from one world to another w/in 36 hours, all the way around the globe, from my home outside kathmandu to my son in western massachusetts. magellan should have had it so good...
wondrous visions, as well, of a snow covered mount ranier, lake stahekin, where we vacationed with dave & lisa a decade ago when the boys were small, then the snake river. the soothing, fresh, warm welcome at minneapolis airport before flying into boston at dark, the lights of fenway on thursday night illuminating the skies while ribbons of red and white lights circled the city on rte 95. it's amazing to see such urban density and light after the hours of darkness in the night skies. the miracle of the modern world for those of still captured by the struggling reality of our third world countries. i'm awed in an ancient sense, both fearful and trembling while inspired by the power and majesty of the world around me.
now, a few days after arriving, josh & i are relaxing at bruce's comfortable home in newton. we drove in yesterday afternoon from nmh b/c josh's football/soccer game was cancelled, alas, due to the heavy rain all night & day. really sad, however, as i was excited to see he & his team play after reading so many game reports while in nepal on the school's sports log. knowing how much josh loves the game and his profound determination, i so much wanted to see him and his team-mates on the new england pitch together. after all, his love for this game was one of the reasons he travelled so far to go to school.
still, the day+ on the campus friday w/ josh was a pure delight. i went to all three of his classes (bible, us history and physics) & had private meetings w/ the professors. all his teachers seem quite pleased w/ joshua's performance so far. in fact, most of them commented on how 'seamlessly' josh has made the great transition to nmh and the states.
a few of the professors commented that joshua's performance is really impressive for his first term at nmh, given the profound transition from his world in nepal. they were all complimentary about josh's level of participation in the classes, his academic commitment and, particuarly his religion teacher, on the originality of his thought. great!!
my smith college friend, sheila, who has been at nmh for 20+ years and is head of the music department, also showed me the latest nmh newspaper which had an article by josh about the cross-cultural differences b/n being a nepali & american. very insightful. she said the teachers were talking about the article in the teachers lounge, saying, 'did you see that article by that kid from nepal?'. to which she would say, 'that's joshua leslie -- not just a kid from nepal.'
clearly, josh has made the passage to the states with aplomb. it helps, of course, that he really likes his roomate, dean, who seems a very sweet guy (great basketball player, i'm told), good mathematician and quite grounded. his other closest friends seem quite sincere and sensitive, as well. i met mohammed from alexandria, sergio from brazil, an american/thai kid from bangkok and a few others. i wish i had more time w/ them, as they are the world in which josh has found his niche here. i'm pleased as they all seem smart, eager and thoroughly enjoyable.
overall, i felt comfortable with the nmh world immediately. it's a caring, intimate and active world. one that is commited to the head, heart and hands of the whole person -- not just intelletual or academic achievement. although, after traveling for his soccer to other new england schools, josh says that the facilities at some of the other schools are even more amazing, i find nmh the right balance b/n the world of lincoln school in kathmandu and the colleges ahead of him. in fact, i'm not sure i'd want josh or ez at the best endowed, wealthiest private school in new england. as josh says, nmh is quite an upgrade over lincoln already. best, methinks, to appreciate the value of what he's found, rather than long for something more elite, aloof or distant from the reality in which we must live.
today (sunday) we're going in to cambridge, to see our friends, jerry & monique, then we booked tixs for the musical 'wicked', the story of the wizard of oz's wicked witch before dorthy showed up. it's gotten brilliant reviews and turns the tabel on our understanding of what truly is 'wicked', and why. it's $90/seat, but these are the remarkable opportunities that the west offers to the general public of seeing outstanding stage or musical performances that whirl the mind and uplift the spirit. take a good catholic liturgy in chartres from the 17th C. and then add all of the color, mystique, romance and humanity of the modern mind -- et voila -- there's broadway, the secular ceremony of the unbridled spirit.
last night, after resting a bit at bruce's, josh & i drove out to a framington mall (got lost looking for it...) and saw two new movies, 'dan in real life' and 'kingdom'. both good, but 'dan' was exceptionally fresh, honest and loving (with steve carrell et juliet binoche) while 'kingdom' was one more tale of endless terrorism and revenge-seeking americans hunting the 'bad guys' in saudia arabia. actually we only were supposed to see one movie, but the other started soon after ours finished, and the room was right next door, so since it was already $10 for a movie, we just invited ourselves in for a double feature. ;-)
of course, once again, i'm amazed how quickly we can make this transtiion from one brave new world to another. in our minds, and in distance, it's a long way away, but once the plane disgorges you and you quickly realize you need to drive on the opposite side of the road (duh... it's the opposite side of the world, space traveller...), it's all surprisingly good.
different. eye-opening. lush w/ autumn colors. wonderfully smooth roads. tons of traffic, but moving mostly. big cars. little cars. blue cars. red cars. food stores, furniture stores and shops for everything everywhere. too much junk food. clear skies. dark clouds. stunning architecture. boring architecture. more to do than one could fill a few lifetimes. tons of entertainment. move theaters in malls the size of cities. more malls. small urban parks with 200 year old trees. tons of trees. and trees. lots and lots of people. lots of over-weight people. well-dressed people. casual and perky people. all hues and hair styles. bag people. rich people. lost people. found people. people always on the move. ambition. desire. a new world, sans doubt...
we'll go back tomorrow (monday) to nmh. my brother bruce & his wife buff are out visiting their daughter liz at her college this w/end, so we'll only see them monday morning. then, we may see the basketball hall of fame on monday en route to nmh. tuesday i'm at amherst for lunch w/ some students, then my talk on the evening on human rights (wrongs) in nepal. i've got plenty of notes by now and some interesting leads into the talk (like 'the last time i was speaking here was the w/end that the royal family of nepal were murdered...'). i'm anxious, of course, speaking publicly and at my alma mater (another form of mother-complex, i suppose...), but when i let the nervousness fade away, i'm actually looking forward to speaking on something i've lived and experience at the core of my life the past couple of decades while hearing the curiosity and intelligence of the amherst students' thoughts. something about a school or college seems to fill a open part of my soul.
i'm sure limited time left with my pilgrim son, joshua, will speed past, particularly since i say goodbye to him when he must be back in his overtrun dorm by 7 pm on m onday. for now, as i've tried to say, it's simply so nice to be nearby him again. because, if anyone asks, being a parent is probably the most profound and satisfying joy that one can find in this brief and ever-passing lifetime. someone, somehow, a long time ago, sure figured that out.
as my buddy, rasan rolan kirk, wails on one of his inspired saxophone songs, "g-d must have a master plan". clearly, our love for our children was central to it.
amen.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
A Pre-Desain Prayer
Outside the lights of Kathmandu fill the darkened sky, while colleagues, who have come from Nepal’s five remote regions, seek lessons from the work that fills our lives.
As we drove this morning from Harihar Bhawan, the decaying 19th century Rana palace where the National Human rights Commission has its office, we passed buses of young Maoist supporters heading into Kathmandu to apply pressure on the government for an instant republic and greater proportional representation.
I wonder, as the days slip by, like the latest effort to hold a Constituent Assembly election, a pre-Desain chill creeping from the nearby ridges, are we coming closer to the cusp of a dramatic historical change or another false dawn for the aspirations of the struggling people of this tired land?
Of course, there is reason to celebrate this Desain as the constant conflict that kept the country in suspended animation for a decade has been officially over for the last year. The fear of nighttime attacks in district centers and brutal incidents in the cities has waned. The wasteful self-destruction of the nation’s limited infrastructure appears over. The pressure among schools to send students for military indoctrinations or use their compounds for armed encampments may have ended.
In all of this, there is cause for some hope as the Maoists and Seven Parties keep a fragile hold on the anniversary of their Comprehensive Peace Accord, signed last November.
Yet, equally, there is deep concern given the history of Nepal’s political leadership failing the country while, too often, putting personal gain & prestige above realistic compromises and lacking a sincere sensitivity to the ceaseless suffering of their own people.
We all watch mutely the increasing communal violence, the constant bandhs, the daily murders and abductions, the sharp splintering of radical and reactionary movements, and the international community’s reluctance to speak frankly to leaders who no longer command the respect of their own people.
Fortunately, the past is not necessarily a roadmap to the future. We hope that the current context -- and even the individuals -- may change enough that they, too, may finally be weary of the anxieties and uncertainties that their internecine conflict has inflicted upon the darkened Himalayan landscape.
Painfully, after their numerous peace process violations and obstructions, without elections, we have no choice but to live with the self-proclaimed leaders who rule Nepal’s government and parliament. The once-again postponed or suspended or neglected election is still the only democratic path forward to find new, capable and untarnished leaders for Nepal’s long-suffering people.
Therefore, this week, on the cusp of Desain, when Nepali families gather for tika and blessings, as the peace process hangs in the balance, leaving many worried about the coming months, each of us must find our own personal commitment to a manageable peace amid the painful truths of continuing human rights abuses.
As night settles here out on the edge of the Valley, I wonder what our national leaders, the men in whom we must place our faith, are thinking. Is there a trace of pride in having come so close, at last, to their political ambitions? Or, per chance, is there a sense of humility when they think of the cost paid by so many others’ lives, of villagers who have lived in fear for so long or the women who became youthful widows or the children who have grown up in uniform missing years of school?
At nighttime do these large political men reflect like the rest of us? Do they wonder about the long-term impact of their words and actions over these past ten years? In the quiet of their minds are they able to acknowledge some of their own responsibility for the suffering of others?
Or, are these men of history for whom there is no past -- only an idealized future they can see on the distant horizon. Having achieved rehabilitation among Kathmandu’s enclosed political elite, are they busy seeking even more power for themselves? Can we believe that their latest rounds of discussions, after two lengthy years, offer a sincere promise of further accommodation and responsibility in the months ahead?
Tonight, do they look out their windows and see the same darkness outside that I see? Illuminated by the tentative, flickering lights of the city below -- a vulnerable valley lit, it appears, with thousands of butter lamps at the feet of the eternal Himalaya.
These lights, for me, represent those common souls who will never have a seat around the table. People, who in Faulkner’s famous phrase, ‘endure’. Nepalis who walk each day to work or travel in crowded micros, who struggle to feed their families, send their children to neighborhood schools and dream of a modest success by which to measure their world.
People for whom prayer is still a form of communication.
As we drove this morning from Harihar Bhawan, the decaying 19th century Rana palace where the National Human rights Commission has its office, we passed buses of young Maoist supporters heading into Kathmandu to apply pressure on the government for an instant republic and greater proportional representation.
I wonder, as the days slip by, like the latest effort to hold a Constituent Assembly election, a pre-Desain chill creeping from the nearby ridges, are we coming closer to the cusp of a dramatic historical change or another false dawn for the aspirations of the struggling people of this tired land?
Of course, there is reason to celebrate this Desain as the constant conflict that kept the country in suspended animation for a decade has been officially over for the last year. The fear of nighttime attacks in district centers and brutal incidents in the cities has waned. The wasteful self-destruction of the nation’s limited infrastructure appears over. The pressure among schools to send students for military indoctrinations or use their compounds for armed encampments may have ended.
In all of this, there is cause for some hope as the Maoists and Seven Parties keep a fragile hold on the anniversary of their Comprehensive Peace Accord, signed last November.
Yet, equally, there is deep concern given the history of Nepal’s political leadership failing the country while, too often, putting personal gain & prestige above realistic compromises and lacking a sincere sensitivity to the ceaseless suffering of their own people.
We all watch mutely the increasing communal violence, the constant bandhs, the daily murders and abductions, the sharp splintering of radical and reactionary movements, and the international community’s reluctance to speak frankly to leaders who no longer command the respect of their own people.
Fortunately, the past is not necessarily a roadmap to the future. We hope that the current context -- and even the individuals -- may change enough that they, too, may finally be weary of the anxieties and uncertainties that their internecine conflict has inflicted upon the darkened Himalayan landscape.
Painfully, after their numerous peace process violations and obstructions, without elections, we have no choice but to live with the self-proclaimed leaders who rule Nepal’s government and parliament. The once-again postponed or suspended or neglected election is still the only democratic path forward to find new, capable and untarnished leaders for Nepal’s long-suffering people.
Therefore, this week, on the cusp of Desain, when Nepali families gather for tika and blessings, as the peace process hangs in the balance, leaving many worried about the coming months, each of us must find our own personal commitment to a manageable peace amid the painful truths of continuing human rights abuses.
As night settles here out on the edge of the Valley, I wonder what our national leaders, the men in whom we must place our faith, are thinking. Is there a trace of pride in having come so close, at last, to their political ambitions? Or, per chance, is there a sense of humility when they think of the cost paid by so many others’ lives, of villagers who have lived in fear for so long or the women who became youthful widows or the children who have grown up in uniform missing years of school?
At nighttime do these large political men reflect like the rest of us? Do they wonder about the long-term impact of their words and actions over these past ten years? In the quiet of their minds are they able to acknowledge some of their own responsibility for the suffering of others?
Or, are these men of history for whom there is no past -- only an idealized future they can see on the distant horizon. Having achieved rehabilitation among Kathmandu’s enclosed political elite, are they busy seeking even more power for themselves? Can we believe that their latest rounds of discussions, after two lengthy years, offer a sincere promise of further accommodation and responsibility in the months ahead?
Tonight, do they look out their windows and see the same darkness outside that I see? Illuminated by the tentative, flickering lights of the city below -- a vulnerable valley lit, it appears, with thousands of butter lamps at the feet of the eternal Himalaya.
These lights, for me, represent those common souls who will never have a seat around the table. People, who in Faulkner’s famous phrase, ‘endure’. Nepalis who walk each day to work or travel in crowded micros, who struggle to feed their families, send their children to neighborhood schools and dream of a modest success by which to measure their world.
People for whom prayer is still a form of communication.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Marriage Along the Middle Journey
Marriage, you say... and I hear the echo of these thoughts & struggles in my own life over the decades.. ;-)
Shaks & I are up and down, as always, but we have tended to keep an even keel over the recent years with the occasional (almost expected...) battles of wills or frustration. Then, as always, our two decades of slow, well-earned understanding, accompanied by nature's nocturnal passion, helps to cool the ego fires and sudden emotional eruptions.
Not to menton the constant joy of our three children, Joshua, Ezra & Ms. Leah Prajna rose, who pull us closer together, again and again. We look at them with obvious love & affection and know that, if not for the other, they would not/could not be, either. They are a mighty anchor in an often troubled and insincere world.
Such is basis for our personal nineteen year journey together through many obstacles along the way...
My heart, however, goes out for the constant struggle that many of our dearest friends also are going through. I wish I had more to offer them than tales of Kathmandu and our own dilemmas.
In certain cases, I know how much one half of the couple wants to be successful in their professional world, and yet, how that seems a bit (not fully...) less substantial to their long-term partner.
Such worldly achievement all departs, anyway, as we know, so a lifetime of love and kindness seem greater values than the corporate ladder or illusions of change in others' lives. But, who can say such things to others in the midst of their own quests for achievement, recognition and ambition? We've been there. We know it. It's an intoxicating brew rich with responsibilities and even hopes. But, not worth its currency at the cost of simpler, more essential, more lastingl aspects of life and living.
After all, how many people actually wed their laptops or bosses or villagers or proposals and find real happiness??!! ;-)
All I can say to my friends is to be forgiving and kind to each other. You've invested quite a lot in something very rare, almost insubstantial, like love & marriage. These qualities of life can disappear as quickly or suddenly as they were created.
As we have learned, destruction is much quicker than creation. The creative impulse takes time and energy, care and commitment. Not always easy, but serious and fulfilling. With children, we've created your own little garden (which is all any of us get anyway...) in which to inhabit.
Of course, we need our own worlds, too, we can't depend on our little ones to give us theirs. For that reason, it's important to find a few moments every few days to talk about your shared family, your shared children, as well as your own dreams and desires, Try, if possible, to leap ahead a decade in your thoughts to look back and think what you truly want now.
Find small acts of kindness or affection to offer your lover, your friend, your spouse. We all need to remember that when we start to fight again or push against each other, simply stop, think of something more beautiful, more peaceful, more soothing in our image of ourselves. Only then come back to the conversation in five minutes when the burning unmanageable sensation in your mind or gut is gone.
Peace is not only what states do, it's what we each create each moment of our lives. Each moment we can be conscious enough to understand that we are creating the world around us, all the time. For our selves, our spouses and our children.
So, we start again, again, and yet again.
Each morning, as Vivien Leigh said years ago in a different context,
"Tomorrow is another day..."
Shaks & I are up and down, as always, but we have tended to keep an even keel over the recent years with the occasional (almost expected...) battles of wills or frustration. Then, as always, our two decades of slow, well-earned understanding, accompanied by nature's nocturnal passion, helps to cool the ego fires and sudden emotional eruptions.
Not to menton the constant joy of our three children, Joshua, Ezra & Ms. Leah Prajna rose, who pull us closer together, again and again. We look at them with obvious love & affection and know that, if not for the other, they would not/could not be, either. They are a mighty anchor in an often troubled and insincere world.
Such is basis for our personal nineteen year journey together through many obstacles along the way...
My heart, however, goes out for the constant struggle that many of our dearest friends also are going through. I wish I had more to offer them than tales of Kathmandu and our own dilemmas.
In certain cases, I know how much one half of the couple wants to be successful in their professional world, and yet, how that seems a bit (not fully...) less substantial to their long-term partner.
Such worldly achievement all departs, anyway, as we know, so a lifetime of love and kindness seem greater values than the corporate ladder or illusions of change in others' lives. But, who can say such things to others in the midst of their own quests for achievement, recognition and ambition? We've been there. We know it. It's an intoxicating brew rich with responsibilities and even hopes. But, not worth its currency at the cost of simpler, more essential, more lastingl aspects of life and living.
After all, how many people actually wed their laptops or bosses or villagers or proposals and find real happiness??!! ;-)
All I can say to my friends is to be forgiving and kind to each other. You've invested quite a lot in something very rare, almost insubstantial, like love & marriage. These qualities of life can disappear as quickly or suddenly as they were created.
As we have learned, destruction is much quicker than creation. The creative impulse takes time and energy, care and commitment. Not always easy, but serious and fulfilling. With children, we've created your own little garden (which is all any of us get anyway...) in which to inhabit.
Of course, we need our own worlds, too, we can't depend on our little ones to give us theirs. For that reason, it's important to find a few moments every few days to talk about your shared family, your shared children, as well as your own dreams and desires, Try, if possible, to leap ahead a decade in your thoughts to look back and think what you truly want now.
Find small acts of kindness or affection to offer your lover, your friend, your spouse. We all need to remember that when we start to fight again or push against each other, simply stop, think of something more beautiful, more peaceful, more soothing in our image of ourselves. Only then come back to the conversation in five minutes when the burning unmanageable sensation in your mind or gut is gone.
Peace is not only what states do, it's what we each create each moment of our lives. Each moment we can be conscious enough to understand that we are creating the world around us, all the time. For our selves, our spouses and our children.
So, we start again, again, and yet again.
Each morning, as Vivien Leigh said years ago in a different context,
"Tomorrow is another day..."
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