Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Notes from Roma, Lecce and Albania



Notes from Italy and Albania

Shakun and I recently returned from Roma, Lecce (Puglia, southern Italy) with a three day side trip to Albania.  Ancient new worlds for both of us...  I attended a conference on 'Sustainable Religious Tourism' where my paper, 'Buddhism, Sacred Art and Pilgrimage Travel Contested' describing a range of cultural and tourist quandaries in Lo Manthang, had been accepted for presentation.  

This was the first conference I'd attended to deliver a paper from my own personal interest.  A few years ago, I presented at a Himalayan Studies conference in Madison, Wisconsin on the Federalism Dialogues as part of my UNDP constitution drafting work.  

But, of course, this was Italy...

We arrived in Roma after our long nearly 24 hour's journey into night from Kathmandu to Italy via Abu Dhabi and Milano.  W
e took a taxi from the Roma airport to Suey's apartment in the heart of the old city, right around the corner from the Pantheon -- one of the world's greatest and oldest architectural marvels.  Suey is a kind-hearted friend from Smith who has made a life and career with FAO in Rome.  She has a walk-up four floors in an old Roman building behind a massive gate off a cobble-stone lane built around a central stairwell with marble pieces of the old Roman world plastered into the walls.  Simple elegance and refinement all around!  

Sunday night after we arrived Suey took us on a tour of her charming neighborhood. First, of course, was the impressively world-weary Pantheon, dark marble and immense columns fitted tightly among the narrow lanes.  A temple to the pagan gods so refined that its coffered dome has stood for two thousand years while Ionic temples or early basilicas have collapsed over time.  A space so graceful and sublime with proportions so exact that a perfect sphere would sit below that gentle dome. In front a small piazza centered on a Bernini fountain of an elephant holding up an obelisk.  (After a few days, I began to think that there are more ancient Aegyptian obelisks in Rome than in Egypt...  Suey says it may be true.)  

Near her apartment were a few baroque churches, including the French Church, w/ magnificent Carvaggio paintings.  Truly wondrous, original paintings of sacred Christian faith with the soul of the common man.  For the first time, Carvaggio painted simple humans with their innocent expressions, bare and dirty feet, individual faces, old clothes, simple postures and humble rooms.  It was a dangerous revelation at the time of such opulence and worldly power.

That first night, there was the feel of Roma, the eternal city they say, under the darkened sky w/ the classical and baroque buildings silhouetted by city lights and the colorful refined Romans strolling their beloved city or sitting at cafes watching us watching them.  This is a city of many charms, not the least the ambience, the comfortable lanes, the lack of haste, the piazzas, embellished facades of the buildings, the gelato, and understated or even in many cases the absolutely overstated and fudge-like carved sentimental beauty. there is a European history and refinement in these cities that we, temporarily imperial Americans, appreciate all the more b/c it is so warm, aged, cultured, historical, vivacious, cool, attractive and well-lived.  



Monday Shakun and I walked some seven hours through various piazza, churches, chapels, sites and gardens.  Rome is an easily walkable city, especially in the 'historico centro', where most of the various empires, emperors, kings, popes and cardinals made their mark.  We strolled the stone streets w/ limited traffic and endless cafes free to stop for a coffee at any nearby corner.  We found an inexpensive place for a pasta for lunch near the Tiber, a few blocks from the Aris Pacem, where other Romans seemed to gather, after a few hours meandering.  Belle!



Then, as we approached the Piazza Populi, we saw, so out of context, an enormous installation of the UEFA Champions League football trophy set up by the old walls of Rome.  Almost like a carnival in a Fellini film.  Of course, we went in and had our pictures taken by the world's most famous football trophy to share with the boys.  



That evening, we had drinks w/ Dave and Claudia Sadoff (who've recently moved to Rome from Bangkok after a couple years in Kathmandu) at Suey's apartment before going out to dinner at a neighborhood restaurant.  There is such an ease and joy in sitting out at a restaurant on streets of Rome in the evening, even in late October, as if the world were your oyster and life is sweet and beautiful...  'La dolce vita', as they say...



The next day we were more serious about our tourist responsibilities.  We went directly to the all-consuming, vast Vatican museums, the Sistine Chapel, the Raphael rooms, St. Peter's...  But the corridors of the museum are so crowded, it's not really an aesthetic experience, more like an endurance race.  I much prefer to be in one of the scores of magnificent catholic churches in the city where there is less 'art', but a more personal experience...

Fortunately, we stepped into a few of those, away from the hustle and bustle, to sit quietly below those massive images of saints and prophets, glimmering in mosaic or pastels, the glittering gold embossed on the ceilings, the side chapels still used for penance, where it is possible, just slightly, to recall that these were once places of profound worship, where the Church was manifest and manifold in its power and glory, where the tithes of the world came to rest within these solid columns and ambulatories, where Christ had arose to cleanse the sins of man, but Peter and the Apostles placed so much sacred and secular authority in one Papacy that it dominated the lives of hundreds of millions for over a thousand years.


Then, at last, after making our way through those 100 meter lanes of Vatican riches in the museum, we reach the piece d'resistence of Christian aesthetics in Rome: the Sistine.  There, unlike the rabble of the museums, I could have spent the whole afternoon.  So awesome, magnificent and ethereal!  There are wooden benches by the side walls where one can sit and admire the enchanting panels of paintings that contrast the lives of Jewish Moses and Christian Jesus by the most famous of Italian Renaissance masters.  Then, after a time, when one feels the moral strength, one looks down the chapel at Michelangelo's exhausting, triumphant, ein-believable, almost unredeemable Last Judgment with its vivid, haunting, transcendent blues and trance-like impression of the end of days, the end of life, our own mere mortality... our individual deaths.

"His will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven!"

When the three walls of the Sistine have filled one's restless mind, at last, there is the chapel ceiling, the ceiling, those Renaissance images, the Gnostic seers, the Hebraic prophets, the fearsome creation, the beginning of time, the mythic force of our own existence, the gentle countenance of a legendary male god-figure with Adam and Eve receiving the source of life...  The source of so much of our religious and literary Western culture, the grandeur of our dreams and fears, the hopes and aspirations in the celestial and mortal worlds.  The beauty and yet, today, the ignorance, the superficiality, the cosmetic, ephemeral world of fame and fortune...

How little we allow our gaze to drift unabashedly skywards these days...

Truth be told, we did join a tour when we arrived at the Vatican as we were told it was the only way to avoid the long lines -- but the guide was almost useless.  I listened to many other tour guides and clearly we got a poor one.  Others were more insightful and passionate about the art and architecture.  Next time i'll have to do more research to get a better guide.  We sort of fell into ours by the front of the Vatican which was a poor choice.  Lesson learned...

Still, I'm not a good tour person b/c I like to sit and observe for long periods.  Usually I listen in on other guides while they are near me, as there is so much to learn of the history and significance of the frescoes, paintings, sculpture and architecture.  It's precious when you hear a skilled and knowledgable person walk one through a painting, like a Carvaggio.  Or staring jaw adrift in front of a Bernini or Bramante masterpiece...  such deep insight and wonder about the art and lives of the artists or the time in which they worked...  time slips away as the past opens up...

That night we watched the presidential foreign policy debate with Suey at the American University of Itay.  Afterwards we walked to dinner at a busy and popular pizzeria with friends of Suey who have lived and worked in Africa.  The British husband was born in Uganda when Kenya, Tanzania and Uganda were all one country, then taught at the University of East Africa in Kampala before it became the University of Kampala.  He's editing an encyclopedia of african wildlife -- no small matter, indeed, while she still travels the world for FAO!  Quite interesting and our type of folks!

The next morning, unfortunately, Suey's apartment didn't have internet, so we went downstairs and around the corner to a gelato cafe (such trouble...) to have a 3.5 euro coffee and use theirs.  While sitting, i heard Shakun say, 'tashi delay' and looked up to see a gaggle of Tibetan men at the table next to us.  It turns out that one of them, Lobsang Sangey, the Prime Minister of the Tibetan government in exile was among them in Italy for meetings w/ Italian  parliamentarians.  We chatted awhile about Nepali politics and the situation of Tibetans in Nepal.  Sangey invited us to visit them in Dharamsala, India to continue those discussions.  All at the corner gelato shop in Rome...

We also finally connected with Luigi and Samanta, our two lovely friends who have been doing the restoration of the Lo Manthang Thubchen and Jampa gompas.  Luigi has been there fourteen years already and has been in-charge of the project for the past few years.  What they have accomplished in that remote outpost of humanity and kulture is little known, but among the most inspirational and beautiful Buddhist religious sites I've ever seen.  Those 15th C. wall paintings from the Sakya tradition have been brought back to near their original vitality and sanctity by the careful, detailed work of these dedicated Italian art restorers.  Without their long-term commitment, and the funding of the American Himalayan Foundation, those temples may have continued their rapid decay and deterioration, leaving no trace of the brilliance of their era.

To make the rendez-vous easy, we met at the Piazza Navonna, where it's nearly impossible to hide, and then went around the corner to a more sedate, cultured and calm Piazza Pace (naturally...) for lunch.  Such a joy, of course, to be with these gentle and yet enthusiastic souls in their own country in the world which fostered their imaginations, artistry and creativity.  It's a gift, as well, for us, living in the international world of Kathmandu, to find such precious friends in Italy and around the world...

Early the next morning we took the express train from Rome to Lecce, direct, for the religious tourism conference which started Friday evening through Sunday.  The six hour ride passed through the countryside train reaching Puglia in time for us to find our cosy B&B just outside the old city walls, a superb meal across the street and only slightly late for the opening ceremony.   On the train, I re-read Lama Govinda's famous Tibetan Buddhist travelogue 'The Way of the White Clouds' -- one of the first books i read when i came to live in Nepal in the early 80s-- in order to take my mind out of the Bernini's baroque Catholic Italy and put myself, once again, in that Himalayan pilgrim soul spirit that animated my paper... 


The conference itself was curious and stimulating.  The people were slightly outside my 'comfort zone', not uncomfortably, but in a fresh, new perspective.  no longer development, INGO or UN folks, but academics and tourism specialists.  In this way, the whole event was a new experience, not merely the sumptuous, baroque surroundings of Lecce, but, in particular, the types of people who attend conferences on academic tourism.  Most of these were professors in their specialized fields (tourism, architecture, urban planning, economics...), as well as young academics making a name for themselves, as well as some modern Renaissance souls who seem to dabble in an array of fields, mixing history, art, travel and pilgrimage.  Of course, there were more than a few Italians, with their elegantly raffish airs and love of beauty, with a range of other northern Europeans, an odd American, a few Israelis, two or three Asians and us.  

Unfortunately, there was not enough time to get to know more than a few of them in two+ days b/c the workshop sessions lasted all day -- swelled at meals by exquisite classical musical concerts in various Lecce churches.  After all, as I noted, this is an exquisitely baroque town.   

Of course, me being me, I was still editing my powerpoint during the lunch before my session.  I added some more photos, given that few, if any, of the audience would have been to Nepal, much less Lo Manthang.  Plus I wanted to remove some of the unnecessary historical facts and personalities that were not germane to the presentation.  Since each presenter was only given 15 minutes, there really wasn't much to be anxious about, although that logic doesn't completely subdue all such emotions.  Not to mention, each specific session was divided into a couple of sections, so only 25-30 people attended any one talk.  

My presentation was preceded by two women, a Greek who spoke on the Compostela di Santiago pilgrimage in Spain and a Korean, studying in Paris, who presented an intensely political and brave case study describing how the Japanese conquest of the Korean peninsula sought to exploit the Korean cultural heritage to justify their Asian colonization in the first half of the 20th C. -- a subject that has resonance for many conflicts in the world today... 

I was fortunate to have almost a full half hour for my power point presentation and a discussion afterward, as one person didn't arrive for their talk.  From what I could observe, my audience (those who weren't nodding off after lunch...) enjoyed going for a ride to the edge of Tibet and across the Himalaya, to consider 'pilgrimage travel contested' in a living Buddhist context.  Since most of the participants were Europeans, they were less familiar with our part of the world.  Although one kindly Brit (of course!), Ian, has been everywhere in the world, and Prof. Rana Singh, rom Benaras Hindu University, who, oddly, took exception to me saying that Muktinath is one of the sources of the Ganges.  For time's sake, I presented my conclusions, but not recommendations.  Then, the beleaguered American who runs the Bahai Center in Haifa asked me to discuss those, as well, which I was more than happy enough to do as the those spoke more to my development background in managing a remote cultural heritage site.

Shakun gave me high marks for my presentation.  I'm not sure it changed anyone's life, but it did mine.  We never would have gone to Puglia or Albania if my dear friend, Prof. Lauren Leve, who worked with me at Save the Children decades ago, had never sent me that advertisement for this conference.  Not to mention how chuffed I was to see my paper in the book of the conference proceedings that we were each given when we signed in on the first day.  

An almost published academic...  imagine that...       

As for the essential subject of food in Lecce, the official lunches were a bit thin, to be honest.  Too little time, too many people and an understandable effort to keep costs down.  Fortunately, there was a wonderful antipasto and seafood restaurant across the street from the lovely courtyard B&B where we stayed in Lecce, as well as the gelato at the corner by the movie theater is to die for.  I found my way past the gelataria every night after the conference sessions while Shakun admired some winter boots in a nearby window I ordered another two euro gelato cone.... 

On Monday, after the conference, we took the overnight ferry from Brindisi to northern Greece, just near Corfu, for our pre-arranged Albanian tour. There were three other visitors from the conference with us, plus Romeo, our Albanian professor.  We left Italy about 8 pm, on a ferry full of itinerant Romas who made the extensive dining area their family sleeping quarters.  We had simple but private cabins with a basic shower/bath to comfortably spend the night.  But the horn and announcement went off while we were still sleeping as arrived bright (well, dark...) and early at 3:30 am in Greece.  As expected, the driver Romeo had arranged met us and take us across the border to Albania...

Romeo, our kindly, Albanian professor-guide, was an excellent host and friend; a true gentleman.  his love for his country and deep understanding of its complexity gave us many insights into the present world of a modern Albania.  From the magnificent Greco-Roman ruins along the coast to the rich Orthodox Christian history in the interior, our three days of travel were a wonderful opportunity to see and appreciate the country from the inside. 

One of our first stops was right over the Greece-Albanian border across the bay from the historic island of Corfu, trading port and vacation spot for empires through the ages.  On the mainland, along an estuary, is Buthrotum (Butrint), an ancient site sacred to the Hellenic god of health and medicine, Asclepius.  Later, under Roman rule both Julius Caesar and Caesar Augustus planned to establish a veteran's colony for their loyal soldiers.  

I could have stayed hours there...  

On a few acres overlooking the sea and miles of agricultural fields, one can imagine the life of a thousand years of early Adriatic culture, see the rough hewn stones arranged by the pre-Hellenic Epirus people for defensive walls below the finely trimmed Hellenic construction, then sit in the now-flooded Greek amphitheater, touch the 3rd C. BCE Greek inscriptions, imagine King Pyrrhus battling the Romans, walk by the oldest and largest (and among the most beautiful...) surviving  Baptistry mosaics and stand amid the ruins of the community's monumental early Christian basilica.  

But, for me, amid all those ages, the most evocative moment was standing along a rock face where a well had been excavated as an offering to the nymphs who made their home in the nearby forests.  Along the stone rim of this ancient nympheum there were finely cut depressions where for a thousand years women had been hauling up their water from the depths.  As I stood there, feeling the cool edge where ropes had carried fresh water to those distant peoples, my thoughts fell back into those pools, as well.  

Looking up at Romeo I said, "Romeo, I hope that when it is my time to depart this world, I am not in a modern hospital bed attached to machines, but in a quiet, peaceful sanctuary like here where one feels a part of man's long history, where the idea of our individual passing is simply to join those who have lived and gone before us, pulling water from the wells of life..."   

In the brief days we were there, Albania proved to be an amazing adventure, particularly b/c of Romeo.  Of course, Albania is not Italy, but then where else is?  but w/ Romeo, we had a non-stop seminar on the politics, culture, history and geography of Albania from Hellenic or Illyrian times to the present.  The country has been on quite a roller coaster in the 20th C., from Ottoman satrapy to principality to royalty to republic to war, revolution and fifty years of Stalinism before the democratic dam broke in the 90s.  Since then it's been an agonizing path back to their European roots that were cauterized under the ever Hoxha Stalinist regime.  

On a hillside outside one of the towns there were large white letters where Hoxha's first name, 'ENVER', had been inscribed visible from a few kilometers away.  A few years after his downfall, some local students rearranged the letter 'n' at the beginning as a reminder: 'NEVER' again will they live under such an isolated, controlling, paranoid Marxist state, never.   

For your sake, I'll avoid a lengthy history lesson here and leave the complexities of the nation's Muslim (60%), Orthodox (20%) and Catholic (20%) relations for later.  Although, just to note, that given the 50 years of imposed secularism Stalinism, compared to many other states in the Balkan region, the diverse religious relations are rather tame today, fortunately.



Not surprisingly, given our eclectic fortune, our 3 day excursion was equally ecumenical as it included two devout, Orthodox Israeli Jews and a modern American Mormon.  Really nice folks.  Although we spent more time w/ Shaul and his wife, as Dallan, the U. Arizona State cultural tourism professor had to leave a day early,  I enjoyed Dallan's stories.  Coming from a rural Utah broken family he knew from age 8 that he wanted to travel the world.  Dallan's made a wonderful career of it, as the keynote speaker at many international tourism conferences while meandering the world taking photos of border crossings and exploring the curiosities that define cultural boundaries.  

Shakun, of course, bonded w/ Mazar and may be moving to a kibbutz in the Negev soon.  She has a way with Israelis and many others that has them feeling she's one of them.  Curious that!  



The one day we were in Tirana, Hillary Clinton descended from the sky (with the rains...) for a three hour visit.  I doubt she came to greet us, specifically, but Romeo said that she is highly respected in Albania for her work in the Balkans, especially on behalf of the Kosovars and other minorities.  I was happy to hear that!  Although it was our last day in Albania and it poured, alas.  but no complaints as we had two beautiful days driving around before the rains began. 

The return overnight ferry from Durres, Albania let us off in Bari, where I'd pre-arranged a rental car at the airport.  Unfortunately, there was no car, but the Dollar rental folks arranged an even better car through another agency (Sixt) for our last day and a half.  

From Bari, we stopped in Trani, up along the coast, to see a magnificent, towering 12th c. Romanesque church by the sea.  Trani is one of those charming seaside Italian towns with a harbor full of fishing vessels and yachts where the cafes ring the waterfront and the light is exquisite.  At such moments I wonder why I had been destined to grow up in Upstate New York, instead of here...  

After a filling 12 euro set lunch w/ a table of antipasto, pasta and a glass of white wine by the cathedral, we drove north between rows of parasol pines on a two lane highway along the sea.  We circled around the rough, cliff-like Gargono peninsula that juts out into the Adriatic sea the top of Puglia.  But, alas, since it was November already, the beautiful, incandescent, Mediterranean day light was gone by 5:30 pm.  My last 3 hours of our last full day in Italy were driving in the darkness from the coast along the Appenines in order to be within a few hours drive to Rome the next day.  

We spent that last night at Campobasso along the spine of Italy.  In fact, I think we found a town in Italy that's famous for almost nothing.  Nothing of great consequence, at least.  Even some students asked us, "why are you visiting here?", as if we were the first tourists to arrive in the new millennium.  But when we did get there, it was late as i'd been driving since 11 am, so we only needed a nice play to sleep and eat and sleepy Campobasso was as good as it gets.

After such a long day, unfortunately, even in such a small town, after dinner I got lost trying to get back to the hotel.  It was almost one of these trying marital moment for Shakun and me w/ the not unheard of 'if you'd only listened to me' vernacular...  But, good on us, we avoided that trap.  then Shakun with renewed energy asked some young Italian students (the ones who asked what exactly we were doing there...) who ever so kindly got in our car to take us to the doorstep of the St. Gorgio hotel we'd somehow misplaced.  

As they say, 'the kindness of strangers...'  which is one of the reasons for travel -- to open ourselves up to the eventual and all-to-common cultural or linguistic or geographic disorientation that puts as the mercy of strangers to offer us their generosity of spirit and friendship.  Such moments always linger, as long as the awe-inspiring cultural heritage sites, with memories of the, at times, uncomplicated goodness of people...  Prego...

Saturday morning we woke with only having to make a 5:30 pm flight from Roma.  We had time.  we had been told it was only 3 hours from Campobasso to the Rome international airport.  Which, of course, left us time to find a nearby grocery store for parmesan, proscuitto and prosecco and a few kilo of olives -- although our bags were already overflowing with four saplings (a juniper, a cedar and two olive trees) we bought at a nursery outside Tirana...  

Since we didn't want to get too much Albanian soil on the parmesan, we bought a 20 euro suitcase in which to pack the food, as well..

ahh, Italia... 




Monday, November 12, 2012

Himalayan Spirit 8848

http://himalayanspirit8848.com/

If you weren't aware of his dream... Joshua has just initiated his first 'start-up', as he'd planned, before he graduates from university.  It went live a few minutes ago.  

The company is called 'Himalayan Spirit 8848'.  Josh's producing, designing and marketing merino wool shawls, sweaters and the like, with Shakun, from Kathmandu, then sending them around the world.  The designs are beautiful and the material, of course, the highest quality merino wool from Nepal.  

I've put the company announcement on FB, but since not everyone does FB, I wanted to let people know, as well, by my blog.  For those of you with FB, Josh would really appreciate your 'liking' 'Himalayan Spirit 8848' to help him grow his clientele.  Also, if you can share the website widely with all of your 'friends' on FB, he'd really appreciate that, too.  For those who use email, please let your friends know about the website by email, as well!

Already, one friend from DC just wrote in to say that he'd made his first on-line purchase, too, so Josh's business is, if not actually 'booming', it's definitely begun in reality.  

Himalayan Spirit 8848 is now open for business!!

As they say, the start of any journey begins w/ a single step...

Thanks!  xoxo, K. 


Friday, October 19, 2012

Amanda Todd: Cyber Bullying

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2012/10/amanda-todd-michael-brutsch-and-free-speech-online.html?mbid=gnep&google_editors_picks=true

Sorry, friends, I don't mean to bring you down...  but this was pretty painful... if you have a moment read the New Yorker article and watch Amanda Todd's video with its haunting, elegiac soundtrack while she all too casually flips her hand-written note cards.  It's more than merely painful knowing the truth of what is to come in her young life.  

How cruel we mortals can be, and how voracious for violence.  

Cruelty, alas, too often, thy name is us...  

Seeing how rapidly and practically unconsciously kids these days ('kids these days'...) post images and thoughts on FB or other social media sites, one wonders if they can even know how to press pause long enough to reflect on the long-term consequences or impact (much less perversions...) of these all-encompassing, all-knowing, ever-present, g-d-like internet universes.  

I doubt it.  

Are any of us that prescient or self-aware, especially when we are young, teenagers, a bit reckless, eager, excited or angry?  Probably not.  Yet with consequences beyond our mere imaginations...

Which is just to say: how do we guide our children and wards in this perpetually wired world so that they don't unconsciously wound or hurt themselves, much less wickedly damage or destroy others.  

Along with math and geography, these, no doubt, are some of the crucial, ineluctable, inevitable questions for these (our!) young souls growing up in a world that can be more unforgiving and cruel than they are ever really taught or can easily understand, alas.  

Naturally, I thought of the teachers and administrators I most regard at our local Lincoln School who understand well the risks and vulnerabilities of our children in this hyper-modern digital world.  Since so much of our beloved children's daily lives are in their wise, compassionate and observant hands.   

For those who know who they are, who help guide our kids at school in the ways of the world, as always, thanks for being there for our kids.  You do such a brilliant job in helping them become self-aware, compassionate, observant and kind-hearted young souls. 

As we know, they each, in their own way, need and deserve so much support and guidance in these often disorienting, stimulating yet fiercely challenging imagined cyber-worlds.

As if the normal, three dimensional one we knew as children wasn't already tough enough...

My apologies to my blogosphere cyber world here as  I'm sorry to bring this painful subject up on a lovely, fresh and crisp autumnal Friday morning.  

Blessings on you, Amanda Todd, the world lost you as you lost yourself in it.

I'm sorry...





Sunday, October 7, 2012

Ez Writing to the Future Ezra on Family Life after Watching "The Namesake" as Josh is About to Leave for NMH at the End of the Summer 2007


To the Hill
Ezra Leslie
July 2007
                        The credits rolled down the screen listing the customary names and positions of the hundreds, if not thousands, of people involved in making the film -- it struck Ezra that ‘credits’ were the perfect visage for an unassuming, simple observance that in reality laid the framework for a calculated, complex ceremony whose purpose was to make the viewer feel splendidly insignificant and incompetent. It was getting late and his homework wasn’t finished. As it was unfinished homework made him feel incompetent (and that was on regular days) the movie only added to his sudden guilty pang of grand incompetence. He sprang up from the old Thai triangular pillow he had been lying on, compelled by his sudden pang of guilt. His parents, his brother, and his baby sister (all of whom had been watching the movie) were still hypnotically glued to the credits -- reflecting on the movie, their musings, the day, thingsthatbabiesthinkabout, dinner (possibly), lunch (maybe), breakfast (probably not).

            The movie’s end panicked him a little; it reminded him of his unfinished work, but now that he had walked over to the computer, calculated the work that needed to be done (and the time he had to get it done), and began composing an email to his ‘future-self’ he felt much more composed. Outside he could hear the light patter of rain falling on the house; these light drizzles were the pebbles that signaled the avalanche of monsoon that engulfed the Himalayan Kingdom every summer. Things would never the same. He peered over the computer and saw that the rest of his family had finally broken free from the hypnotic effects of rolling credits; his father, Keith, his mother, Shakun, and his baby sister, Leah, were now dancing to the Indian-themed music -- he couldn’t help smiling. He glanced over to his (also smiling) brother, Joshua, they caught each others eye, and smiled uncontrollably.

            He was in control now. The work would get done. In fact, now that he thought about it, he had made the right choice to watch the movie with the family. It was what his father wanted, with his brother, Joshua, preparing to go to boarding school in a couple of months, at this point every moment spent together was treasured by his parents (still dancing). He began his email:

Hey future Ez,
just try not to think about how dad was dancing around in the TV room yesterday...haha anyways i’m tired i’ve got to do some stuff so i’m gonna bounce...but just remember you’re probably gonna have some work to do cuz i didn’t do it okay? anyways just do what i don’t...
catch you on the flipsyde...

            He smiled at the thought of his future-self and decided, as a memento to the film, to sign the email: Googol Ganguly. Then he clicked ‘Send,’ said goodnight to Mum, Dad, Josher, and Leah Loo, stumbled down to his bedroom, pulled out his unfinished work, and, with the dying image of his parents and little sister dancing to movie credits, fell fast asleep.

            The book was better, Jhumpa Lahiri’s The Namesake, but it was a wonderful movie nonetheless. The movie had struck close to home tonight, Keith Leslie thought, although his own life had been the story in reverse. He had come from the West (the Land of the Free, Big Stick Democracy, Hamburgers, Home of the Brave) to explore the east (deep seated history, spicy food, governments steeped in monarchy). However, the protagonist, Gogol Ganguly, displayed the same confused idealism and youthfulness that had propelled him to his life here on this six-thousand foot ridge overlooking the Kathmandu Valley. It had given him this life with his wonderful wife (now putting the youngest to bed), his three awe-inspiring children, an amazing home, and of course the garden; reminding him that it was the perfect time to revel in the beauty of the garden. He slipped quietly downstairs and glanced into Ezra’s room -- he had fallen asleep books and papers scattered around him, one was resting lightly on his chin. Keith gently pulled it off, laid it beside him, turned off the lights and headed for the backdoor.

            The door was already locked and in the darkness he fumbled with the latch locks. Finally, he was rewarded by the distinct “kathunk!” of freedom. He pulled on the door handle, pushed the gauze screen wide open, and took a deep breath as he escaped into the peaceful serenity and bounty of nature. The light drizzle blanketed him in a soft cooling rain when the warm glow of lights turned on revealing the exquisitely fragile and beautiful garden, a delicate expanse of green existence.

            Shekhar, the Nepali gardener/guard who had been outside, heard the screen door opening, turned on the lights, and came over, “Namaste, Sir.” It was always a pleasure to walk in the garden with Sahib, together they had helped nurture and build this garden. He had been with the Leslies for over fifteen years now -- he knew that Sahib understood the true beauty of the garden. If everything went ahead as planned though, he would be leaving the Leslies in a few months time to serve manual labor in the Middle East. Although nothing could beat the working conditions here with the Leslies, the Western salary would help earn money -- he wasn’t getting younger.

            Together in mutual silence and respect they walked along the bank of the brook that runs alongside the ten ropanis (acre)  of property that Keith had bought with Shakun twenty years ago. The house, built seven years ago, represented how far he had come since he arrived in this Himalayan Kingdom, a simple Amherst graduate from Upstate New York who left America seeking enlightenment, but never came back. Leah was born into this house, Josh and Ezra had grown from boys into men here, and even he had gone into his fifties in this house.

            Shekhar was now kneeling over the bank, the moonlight shining upon his short and thin, but strong, frame as he peered into the cool, flowing water. “Aunus, Sahib,” he said pointing into the water. Keith walked over and gazed at the ten-inch river crabs digging up the streambed. They both gazed on in wonder at the richness of life that thrived around them. After several minutes of wandering thoughts and gazing at the crabs, Keith glanced up, Shekhar had already walked on ahead. Standing underneath the willow tree that swayed slowly under the patter of rain, amidst the otherwise humid spring night, they both turned towards the wire fence (many years since covered in vines, ivies, and plants) at the sound of leaves crunching.

            A horse had wandered over to the fence from nearby grazing pastures to eat at the other side of the property fence. “We must all leave our own grazing pastures at some point,” Keith mused thinking back on his own travels away from the West, Gogol’s less physical (more emotional) departure from his past, and Joshua’s imminent geographic departure halfway across the world to a boarding school in Northfield, Massachusetts (of all places). At the thought he felt a deep remorse rise up in his throat, feeling the physical and emotional distance that would soon separate him from his son. Knowing his two sons it would probably be Ezra leaving next year. “It is funny,” he thought, “I spend the majority of my adult life worlds away from my own parents, and now I feel the pain of a parent as Josh prepares to spread his wings.” He knew it was for the best though, the type of opportunities lay in wait for his son that students at their International school in Kathmandu could only dream of.

            Shekhar and Keith now had slowly made their way along the fence (they let the horse graze) around the stream, across the pond, and into the front yard. The maple tree they had smuggled over from America ten years ago was thriving. It was a wonder to observe the often arbitrary nature of survival for the plants -- some survived, some didn’t -- this maple was already nearly ten feet tall. He stepped forward, the moonlight suddenly revealing the intricate intertwined gossamer web of a spider spun throughout the limbs of the maple. “Hopefully, the spider is more of a Charlotte than a Shelob”, he thought as he smiled to himself.

            What was this Northfield Mount Hermon? This mystical hill ten thousand miles from Kathmandu, this self-professed educational institution of “the head, the heart, and the hand.” What webs would Joshua spin for himself at Mount Hermon, where would they lead him to? These questions rolled through Keith’s mind like the credits at the end of the film making him feel strangely insignificant and incompetent. There was really no way of knowing what his experience would be like in Massachusetts, but whatever happened Keith knew that few kids had grown up in the cosmopolitan, worldly setting that Kathmandu had offered Josh and Ezra (Leah still had time).

            The rain was beginning to fall in larger and more concentrated flurries now, it would soon be time to go in. It must already be 1 am in the morning, but there was one last stop he would have to make. Shekhar had already gotten there. Just beyond the maple, across the other side of the property, lay the bamboo grove. Keith’s love for bamboo encapsulated his passion for his children -- wonder, awe, and immense pride. No stroll in the garden was complete without contemplating the beauty of at least a couple of the forty some-odd bamboo species on their property. Particularly in the spring, as it was now, they were rewarded by the multi-inch sprouting and growth of bamboo’ tusas’ (shoots) daily. Their powers of growth never ceased to amaze him. Together, Shekhar and Keith, caressingly removed the fallen leaves from the roots of the bamboo unearthing new ‘tusas’ and revealing growing ones.

            Keith sighed looking up at the house, the TV light (forgotten to be turned off) still glowing through the window, “Never again will they be the tusas they once were.”  The rain was pouring now -- it was time to go in, he turned to his companion “Namaste, Shekhar.”  “Namaste, Saab,” Shekhar called out, already disappearing off in search of shelter.

            Inside, the house was quiet -- everybody was asleep and staying put, although not for long. Quietly, Keith closed the screen door closing his garden palace behind him. He tiptoed slowly upstairs where Leah had fallen fast asleep in Shakun’s arms (or the other way around, he never could quite tell). The TV and computer were still on, gently bathing their features in the day’s activities.

            Keith silently turned off the TV and sat down at the computer, peering over the top smiling at his daughter and wife softly dozing in each other’s warm embrace; his smile grew as he saw Ezra’s habitual email to his “future-self” in the Outbox. Slipping on his glasses he prepared an email to his son:
           
        “hey, future once, now past easy ez, what's cooking?  ya missed a splendid stroll in the midnight garden w/ sheks et moi.  great visuals of ten inch crabs digging up the stream bed, a horse out the fence munching on the grass, magnificent gossamer charlotte's webs on the maple tree, the massive tusa coming up in the bamboo groves and the drizzle becoming a slight downpour telling us it was time to turn in.  i know it's no comparison to chemistry or mystic literature... but what's an olde guy to do when he doesn't have classes anymore... just go out and watch the natural world do its amazing thing...  have a lovely morning, son.  love you, you know, your once and future dad."

            Outside, the rain fell unabatedly on the ten inch crabs digging into the river bed, on the horse grazing away from its pastures, on Charlotte spinning her webs, on the ‘tusas’ growing without respite, on Shekhar dreaming in his room, on the young and the old, on the awake and the sleeping, on the staying and the going. 

Friday, September 28, 2012

Devi Leiper Does Development

Devi asked me to write a new post specifically mentioning her by name.  It seems, as she told me, that if you Google 'Devi Leiper', the first mention that shows up is my earlier post from the summer of 2011 when we attended her bucolic wedding to Derek in a Colorado State Park.

Personally, of course, I was chuffed!  Hey, a #1 Google hit from my Bambuddhism blog!  When I can't find a way into the publishing world for the longer pieces I write, Google honors my deep Leiper connection with a #1 for Devi's wedding.  What's there not to like, I asked?

Well, it seems that Devi's professional world warrants at least as much attention as her marital one.  Fair enough, I suppose.  Although no matter what professional role our dearly beloved Devi takes on during her life, her marriage and those she loves will always serve as a better totem of her existence here on earth, methinks.

Still, sweet Devi of the lowlands (Cambodia, now...) asked for a new post and how could I say no to the oldest daughter of my life-long best friend?

For me, actually, as these years sail forward, one of the previously unfamiliar joys is the 'getting to know' the children of the parents we have grown up with and loved along the way.  I remember decades ago saying that to my dear friend, Davis Baltz, when we were younger then than now.  How we tried to peer darkly ahead to a day when we could have children of our own who would wander the world, like we did, bringing back riches of stories, fragrances and friendships.

Ahh, 'Ithaka'...  the poet Cavafy always appears at such moments... to remind us...

So when Devi told us a month ago that she'd be in Kathmandu for a conference for her global women's initiative, we immediately offered her our home for as many days as she could spare us in between her critical conferencing among her colleagues.  In fact, we were so excited, we even cleaned up Ezra's old room (since he's taken over Joshua's bigger room...) so that it wasn't still pre-occupied by the haphazard collection of boxes and books -- the flotsam and jetsam -- of our lives.

I'd actually asked Ezi to do the deed before Devi arrived from Bangkok on a Sunday Thai flight, which he did in inimitable Ezi-style: thoughtfully, conscientiously, carefully, and ever so slowly.  So the day before Devi's imminent arrival, I asked Gita if she could help.  Whoosh!  Within an hour, she and Laxmi had moved everything toute suite to the storage room by the garage.  No fuss, no mess.  No Proustian reflections for them that each paper and object had educed from Ezi's sentimental memories.

Attachments...  the sinews of our emotional life; the way even the slightest of tokens can send us off in hours of recall and deeper appreciation of the experiences of our individual lives...

Can a dear friend's child be such an emotional attachment, as well?  The cause for so much inner thought travel back along the trails of our earlier days and lives?


"The places we have known do not belong only to the world of space on which we map them for our own convenience. They were only a thin slice, held between the contiguous impressions that composed our life at that time; the memory of a particular image is but regret for a particular moment; and houses, roads, avenues are as fugitive, alas, as the years."          

Marcel Proust,  'Swann's Way'


While Devi contemplates the world of international development, the joys, passions and anxieties of working on issues of social importance through organizations and individuals who she can never really deeply know,  I am absorbed in the mere joy of having my best friend's daughter here in our home, among us, a message in a bottle from the life I lived with her father for so many years.

Development is important: sans doubt!  The lives of those who benefit from our good will and hard work around the world.  Good deeds compounded.  Education, public health, micro-loans, equality, representation, leadership skills et al.  The global indicators of well-being and wealth in a world where  actual sharing comes with such reluctance.

But I can't see development issues within Devi while sitting over dinner and a glass of chilled white wine with Ezi, Shakun and little Leah in our Licchavi Grove home.  It's quiet in the evening here above the politics and rancor of Kathmandu.  Only the occasional owlet cries in the forested darkness.  I listen and observe this lovely, caring young woman, a beautiful blend of her American and Cambodian parents, a tussle between her desire to do good and yet live sincerely.

I hear her honest, struggling thoughts on the uncertainties and deceptions that envelop international aid.  Her late-20s search for meaning.  Her wounded innocence and heartfelt desire to bring integrity to her work.  She stands in front of the leather-bound books by the dining table, asking aloud if she could find more tactile, fulfilling work away from the necessary mediocrities and compromises of the development business.  Working with her hands, handling literature, creating beauty, dark velum in her hands instead of carefully nuanced and slightly overstated monthly activity reports.

Devi looks up from her food, her eyes questioning, her thoughts pure but aching.  Life's mixed and uncertain ambitions before her.  The modest slights and mental equivalences living in the world of a weighty bureaucracy where the most ambitious often succeed and thrive best.  Their questionable motivations and morality often praised from outside, but revealed more truly from within.  The office deceptions and decisions that slowly water-board a good and sincere soul.


“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.” 


Fyodor Dostoyevsky, "Crime and Punishment"


These are the years when our young must learn to face an adult world that their school books never quite completely described.  Where the motivations of the gentle observe the harsher truths of society.  Where one learns an unexpected strength to continue to work though human institutions or chose to step quietly aside to find a truth in family or trade or independence that can never be gained through official work, no matter how noble and high-minded the rhetoric.

This is the Google of the darker places.  The difficult choices that test our resilience and our strength.  No longer the grace and light of a youthful marriage on an open grassy plain to another caring soul surrounded by beloved family and friends.

This is the Bambuddhism of greater honesty and pain where a friend's daughter is tested more than she wishes and more than one wants to observe.

This is the courage of an individual who one loves, yet cannot fully protect.

This is not a #1 Google hit, but life's hits that define and etch our humanity, our loyalties and our deepest affections.

This is why we love you, Devi, dear.

And wait patiently for you and Derek to return to share our Budhnilkantha home, where, if we listen carefully, the owlets cry at night for our souls.










Sunday, September 23, 2012

I Was, I Am, I Will Be


I Was, I Am, I Will Be 

                                                      By Leah P. R. Leslie
                                                             11 years old


I was a second in a day waiting for a minute
To pass by but instead there were just seconds
I am time but I am never noticed until
I am gone
I give and I take till there is no more to take
I will be a dark dream waiting to be freed
I sit and wait
Occasionally hearing a baby crying
But one day you won’t hear that no more
I am death and life itself
Just waiting for a life to grasp
Every time I take I give
Some days there is nothing
To take
Or
Give
I was a second in a day waiting for a minute
But that minute of happiness never came.