The Unforgiving Road

those characters
who travelled with us frequently
while the first kind dropped off the path
without so much as a whispered farewell

and beyond these were the multitudes
in the many lands, the shadows on the cobblestones

but we had not come to know them in such a way
those spirits through which we flitted
our eyes shyly averted
lest they draw us into their world
and in doing so save us from ourselves

this we could not bear
yet we knew this journey would end ere long
if we remained on the unforgiving road

meanwhile across the shimmering valley
of each new kingdom
beyond the morning hills
written in the fingers of haze
that promised a glimpse of our destiny
we smiled, gazing once more backwards

dreaming that you would hear from us no more
and you would be gladly abandoned
to stumble... on your own journey
to the far off land
as it has always been
and will be
forever more

God be with you!

Lorenzo Rajah 

Portuguese traveler in Asia, 1697

Ezra Settles back to NMH

"Well, I guess this is the first of my sporadic, albeit lengthy, emails to you guys over the course of the year (and as much as i know you enjoy my manner of communication I see no signs that I will change...although I will try...).

Life here at NMH doesn't really change, the faces change, the interactions might change, but it's still me heading off to classes, getting a bunch of errands done (to what end, who knows?) -- but they are errands that must be done nonetheless. 

Freshman orientation was great, I loved it!  The kids are great and it really was wonderful to be a part of the beginning of their high school journey and possibly even their adult life.  It's just so much fun to see that they're at a stage that they haven't even realized that they've reached -- I would look out at them and wonder if any one of them could recognize what a journey they have begun.  Chances are none of them have, but I guess that's the beauty -- since then it has just gotten better and better; putting them to bed, tucking them in, being a part of that young energy.

As with everything, there are always ups and downs, but it's all part and parcel in life so if you expect anything else, you'll be bound to being disappointed.  Classes are going well.  I'm in AP Env. Science, Biblical Interpretation, and Calculus.  Lets see how they go.  It's still way too early to tell what they'll be like, but as soon as I know I'll tell you ;).

Soccer is also going okay, not brilliant, but okay.  I think I have made the varsity team, but just barely -- they have a bunch of recruits so the team should be pretty good, but I still have yet to reach anywhere near my potential.  I actually sprained my ankle again yesterday, which is why I had the time to write this email now.  So I'm out for today and hopefully I'll be back tomorrow or on Saturday.  It's not a bad sprain, but it's best to err on the safe side of caution.

Other than that, I really have been out of the loop, being in freshman dorm is great, but the first couple of days/weeks are extremely busy and hectic because you are helping them get used to things and making sure they are all happy.  My room isn't completely setup, but it's getting there.  I'll probably buy a second pair of sheets so that I can have a double bed, and then as I told you guys I want to get some vegetation in here.

Mom you sound like your galavanting the political world of Nepal and doing all that you wanted so that sounds great just remember that happiness (and truth) begin and end from home. 

Dad your pictures are always wonderful to see and after all pictures tell a thousand words, so just make sure that you don't spend too much time commiserating with your sons across the pond: we're fine and before you know it we'll be seeing each other soon...

and Leah i hope you are painting your soul out....

lots and lots of love, ezi"

Josh Settles in at Georgetown

"College life on the hilltop has been exciting as I am meeting new people, going through orientation, meeting new people, finally starting classes, and, again, meeting new people, I know a bit tiring.  Yet, the fact is that everyday seems to be an adventure; whether it's walking all the way to White House or going to the DC United game and getting to meet and take a picture with Freddie Ljunberg, a famous Swedish football player whom I have watched ever since I began watching football.  This opulent city seems to have so much potential for inspiration and instilling a sense of direction that I already feel as if I can call it my muse, and if any of you pass through my city, yes I am taking it over, please do call because I would love to see you all."

Josh during his first week at college...

 

Sunday Late August Afternoon

It's another Sunday late afternoon at home.  I've just come in from sword fighting w/ Ms. Leah in the backyard with her bamboo stick and my cane one.  It was almost a fair fight, as she raced around the trees and, occasionally, tried a full-frontal attack on her dear dottering dad.  But, only when she found a 'whip sword', as she referred to it, did the tide turn and she got the better of me with a slashing forehand that snapped as the papyrus reed whacked me on my side.  

'Crouching Tiger' has nothing on us!  En guard, you unseen ninjas!!  To the parapets, for home and family!!

Coming in as the birds were dancing over the pond, taking their last minutes of lighted acrobatics, I remembered that half way around the world, Ezi was at the Port Authority still seeking a way out of NYC.  I'd called him a couple of hours ago to see if he's caught his 6 am Greyhound bus to Northampton, MA -- but he'd missed that bus b/c the office computers were down and he couldn't be issued a ticket.

So, calling up Skype (the international family's best friend...), I found Ezi already on another bus leaving the City.  He'd been given a ticket for an 8:15 am bus, instead.  After five days enjoying life in NYC at beloved Aunt Eileen's, seeing friends, shopping for the new school year, finishing his required reading, our dear #2 was heading back to NMH for his senior year.  Ez had left here last Sunday solo for the first time to the States, no doubt, with more trepidation in my heart than his...

Joshu is in his final days with us, as he leaves to go directly to Claudia's on Wednesday, where he'll sleep for a couple of days, before meeting my Mom in DC, where he'll enroll for his first year at Georgetown.   For Josh, this is getting to be a regular commute.  Since he went on his own for the first time in August 2007 for his first year at NMH, he's gone back and forth now five times from Nepal to the States w/o us over these two years.  

Actually, it's all too hard to believe, but Shaku and I are filled with both joy and amazement that we have raised these young men (no longer merely boyz...).  It's so hard to let them go, but it feels right to see the wings grow on their sneakers, like the ancient god Mercury, as they glide away with confidence and ambition to embrace the larger world around us.  

So, it's down to three.  Leah, Mom and Me.  Leah has started 3rd grade (very impressive, I know!) and is maturing nicely, esp. after most of a summer w/ her brothers.  Shaku is deep into indigenous politics (she's out in Dang right now...) while I'm still on a consultancy w/ UNDP managing their civll society outreach for the new constitution.  It's mostly stimulating and fun as it's like running an NGO project out of the UN -- not something that they're used to and I'm meeting some new & interesting folks.  The commute is a bear, but it pays the tuition and gives me great flexibility to go back and forth to see the boys and Mom a few times during the year.  

I'll be on the East Coast for three weeks in October for Ezi's Parents' w/end, then Joshu's Parents' w/end in Washington, DC, then at Claudia's in Philadelphia for Mom's first b-day w/o Dad.  I'm looking forward to that.  

All of that.  And more...

Monsoon Madness

summer, what a concept!  we've been back here since the end of june and the nepali expression for summer is called 'monsoon'.  

those bucolic summer days in the states turn wet, rainy and moist here most of the time.  of course, there are these wondrous cumulus clouds and lush landscape -- but i fight the leeches ('juga') in the back garden all summer.  they no longer psychologically disturb me quite as much as they used to... although i'm constantly checking my crocs or wellingtons to knock them off when they climb aboard. fascinating little, remorseless creatures w/ a mind to suck.  and suck, and suck...  

it's amazing to watch their single-minded devotion to the life's pursuit, but not quite as enviable to be the object of their fascination.  the slush up from a narrow, thin string-like creature to a fat, corpulent, over-intoxicated beast on the joys of my bodily fluids.  read: my blood.  

the best way to deal with them is either: a) try to flick them off with your finger, as i do fairly easily or, if the horror, the horror strikes you, b) put a dab of salt on them and they shrivel into non-existence as quickly as water on the wicked witch of the west.  alas, poor 'juga' i knew him well...

still, it's the same warm summer rain that brings out the leeches that feeds the bamboo in the garden and w/ some 40 varieties, i may soon have (or already do...) the most diverse, garden variety collection in nepal. 

on the weekend mornings, in between a bit of swordplay with our homemade bamboo fences, ms. leah and i go looking at the 'tusa' (shoots) to see what's literally come up.  we have these cute, thin 'nigalo' types and then these plump, tubular, 6" diameter priapic creatures rising from the soil.  each has its own beauty, esp. some of the crowns which resemble a javanese 'kris' (those short knives w/ wavy blades).  there are amazing colors and styles to each 'tusa' as it splits the earth and rises skyward at this time of year.  

leah also likes the multitude of small mushrooms that gather around their roots, too.  bold, orange or red little toadstools or amazing chocolate brown gothic creations, like the stucco islamic ceilings at the alhambra or the claw-like white, translucent tubes with dark, gnarled fingers at the end.  none of these more than an inch or two off the ground.  

all of these exquisite natural, visual, sensual delights for the eyes 

living quietly, each to itself, surrounding us in our own backyard during the monsoon;

just keep one eye for those little leeches, 

mindless of the remarkable beauty all around them...

Sail Away, Ezi, Sail Away...

Well, it's 9ish Saturday night.  Ezi's finishing his dinner w/ Shaku and Shakuns Mom ("Mua"), while J & L are playing soccer with a small ball in the dining room near them.  We are all aware that Ezi goes tomorrow at 3:45 pm to Delhi, then waits there for the whole evening until his 2 am Jet Air flight to Brussels, then JFK and New York.  At least, he's gotten a voucher to stay in the Jet Lounge in Delhi airport while he waits some seven hours. Thank the g-ds for small favors... 

Of course, pour moi, it's a sad feeling to know that Ez will be gone from the house from tomorrow.  Although we haven't seen him alot recently, as he's had three friends from NMH for two weeks, plus his gaggle of Kathmandu friends here, it's still lovely to know that he's nearby and occasionally available for a good chat or smile or just to observe his interactions w/ other people. 

We know it's good for him to go as he's on his own growth curve in a way that our little Kathmandu couldn't continue to stimulate him.  Of course, there's much that he misses here, but he still (I think...) feels the tug of the steeper and richer jourtney in America at this stage of his youthful life.  He's challenged at many levels there, academically, intellectually, sports and consciousness.  But, Kathmandu, dear besmirched, politicized and familiar Kathmandu, is the tug of home, childhood friends, friendly neighborhood haunts and total acceptance.  

When he steps back into the fast pace of America (or possibly sailing along tomorrow night from the height of 60,000' with the stars above and the earth below), he will also see his past and future more clearly.  The strength and stability of his past and present continuous life in this Kathmandu Valley, as well as the even more (soon to be...) present continuous world of NMH and the future perfect possibilities in America.  

Yet, as a family, there is nothing better than being together or, at least, nearby.  We had that time in late May/early June in the States this summer, before the boys came back to enjoy our home here for three weeks w/o us.  Now, since Shaku, Ms. Leah & I returned at the end of June, we've had July and this early half of August together.  Our home has seemed full, joyful and busy.  A bit of quiet will descend tomorrow when the phone stops ringing for Ezi with Vijay or Suraj or Karuna or Lyle or Daniel calling to look for our precious prince.  

So, tonight, each in our own way (me writing...), we begin to feel the emotional bonds slip away again in the dark, distant sea; those gnarled metaphorical ropes that tie our hearts and limbs together quietly frey tonight so that they may release the beautiful, peaceful dove that is within Ezi and allow him to fly, on his own, to the worlds in America who also love him and draw him back.  His school, his friends, his teachers, our family, his cousins, his brother, my mother.  He is building his new nest there, a bit more fragile and passing than the permanence of our ten year old house & garden here on the hillside in Budhanilkantha, overlooking Kathmandu to the south, with the 8,000' Shivapuri ridge massive and comforting behind us.  

But his craggy dorm room nest, tucked up against the Berkshires in western Massachusetts along the Connecticut River, Student Leader next year in a Freshman dorm, will soon become Ezi's temporary abode in the States for the next ten months. 

After five days in NYC at Eileen's beloved home in Peter Cooper Village, Ez will find his way north to either Northampton or Northfield next Saturday, where a friend or teacher will pick him up and whisk him back to the pressures and romance of the boarding school life.  

Late August, cerulean skies, warm days, crisp New England air, an open ptich for the start of a new football (soccer) season, new academic courses, new challenges, dear friends, great books, a senior (at last) in high school, the completion of a journey begun a long time ago...  

Sail free, beloved son.  Sail on, yo captain and commander!  

The seas are yours, the wind is high!

Set your sails, man your rudder,

You have chosen the start of your course,

Feel the pusle of your blood and ambition rise in your chest,

Keep Kathmandu in your heart where she belongs,

Know what these Kathmandus (Ithakas) mean as you

Sail free, My Son, Sail free!

The Ellenberg Departure

Tonight, the house will be emptier than its been for the past two weeks, as Dave, Lisa, Lily & Iris are en route to BKK right now, possibly about to land, as I finish up today's work and begin to look longingly across the valley from my perch here in UNDP to the lush, rain-swept quiet of Budhanilkantha...

So, for us, the delightful friendship trail summer interlude that began with a very late (and lucky...) arrival in BKK on June 19th to reunite w/ the Ellenbergs plus Davis & Catherine that Friday morning and flying together to Phnom Penh with Scott, Sochua and Steve's friendly faces awaiting us comes to a final close.

It's been a full, fun and chaotic 12 days here on the Nepali side of Camp Kampot. The Licchavi Lane residence was warmly awaiting the Ellenbergs on their return to Nepal. Dave, of course, had been part of the Chorten Trail in the summer of 2005, while Lisa had been here last some 16 years ago with Lily in uterus, while Iris had never been here. Gita had her renown Nepali tea ready for the weary travelers, while Tek was ready to to drive our guests around the traffic jams of the Valley.

Tours of the historic sites with shopping happy afternoons filled the schedule, retreating to the vestal sanctuary up on the Hill for dinner courtesy of Shakun's well-planned schedule. Then, after a week of Kathmandu madness, softened, at times, by Shabat dinner w/ our Israeli friends, an early evening stroll on the Boudha stupa, an afternoon in Bhatkapur, french fries at BK's, the exquisite Patan museum, a discussion on Josh & Ezi's citizenship rights at the entrance to the Garden of Dreams, the Oregonians wisely fled to the tropical isolation of Chitwan national park and the peaceful beauty that our friend Emil created inside the park, complete with swimming pool and elephants to dream of and ride upon.

We had a lovely, transcedent long w/end at Machan's bluff within the Park watching the clouds gather over the Himalaya and the Rapti river flow.

Then, of course, stuck inside of Bharatpur with the Budhilkantha Blues Again as our Budha Air flight was delayed three hours due to the monsoon. But, fortunately, we each had our books ready, so finally, after another Nepali travel hiatus, near dusk we returned home Sunday night for an exquisite meal prepared by Shaku & Gita for Lisa's birthday.

Our time together ebbed Monday as Dave & Lisa shopped in the afternoon while we gathered for a final repast at Fire & Ice, followed by take-home Baskin & Robbins ice cream to see Ezi's favorite "Master & Commander" on the DVD in the comfort of our home.

This morning, leave them slow but leave them laughing, I took the morning off as we lingered in the garden, gathering a few more final leeches, trimming the bamboo and slowly winding our way around the congestion we call home to take the Ellenbergs to the airport and their journey home.

It has been good. Very good. Both the joys of group living in Kampot and two families together in Budhanilkantha. These times are special, precious and fleeting. We draw from them sustenance and life.